When the Cabal Ran It All

Alan P. Scott - Fictions

tincture of nostalgia

On Thu, 9 Oct 1997, Scott Dorsey wrote (posted with permission to the Usenet newsgroup talk.bizarre, which is not run by a cabal, because There Is No Cabal):

> There is no cabal.  There used to be a cabal, but not any longer.  And
> it's a real shame... when there was a cabal, you could get stuff done
> a lot easier, and the trains ran on time.
> I miss the cabal a lot.


...volcanoes erupted on schedule, dammit!

...dinosaurs walked the earth - and outnumbered cavenewts 4:1.

...it was illegal to post and chew gum at the same time. Penalties were severe and judgments instantaneous, and usually involved public evisceration at high noon.

...Sid & Marty Krofft ruled the Saturday morning airwaves with an iron hand.

...chevyn's penis was still only four inches long.

...you couldn't even get stone knives and bearskins to repair your tricorder.

...lloyd had only two 'l's. Before that, loyd had only one 'l'. In the very beginning, of course, there was just an oyd.

...Nixon hadn't been rehabilitated.

...Carasso hadn't been rehabilitated.

...no one had ever inhaled. Anything. Really.

...the ingenious "8-track cartridge" offered hours of continuous music with only the occasional 'thunk' to interrupt the mood.

...September had only 30 days.

...the United States was the only country ever to have engaged in nuclear war.

...disco was king, rap was a conversation, and techno was a prefix.

...X Industries had yet to promote their first IPO.

...so there were no orbiting anvils.

...the only guy with a personal computer was Batman, and he had to have Alfred run the damn thing for him anyway.

..."froup" was spelled with a 'g'

...there were three Beatles left alive ("I love John, I love George, I love Ringo... I love John..." -Kim Aaron)

...haiku had only fifteen syllables.

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