Quest for Debugging Fire

Alan P. Scott - Fictions

One brief act from the wall of Plato's Cave

In an article entitled Re: Mao's Private Chat Room, "Talk Bizarre", posted to the Usenet newsgroup talk.bizarre on September 24, 1997, Scott Dorsey (kludge at wrote:
: You're not supposed to NEED a scope for these things!  That's what the
: protocol analyzer is for.  The scope is what cavemen used to debug fire.
IHNJH, IJLS "The scope is what cavemen used to debug fire."
Thanks, Scott, for the impetus:


A Playlet in One Brief Act

[Three cavemen (well, two cavemen and one cave woman) huddled around a fire. The rest of the set is almost bare, save for a portable oscilloscope and a pile of mastodon parts...]

Og: "Pass me that oscilloscope, Ug."

Ug: "Fire got another glitch in it?"

Og: "Uh-huh. Flame's too hot. I tried to make a backup copy with this stick and burned my hand."

Oogla: "Hey! I stuck this mastodon leg into your flame and it came out black! When's version 2.0 coming out?"

Og: (snuffles) "Hmm... mastodon smells GOOD."

Ug: "Scheduled release date is still 2,000,098 B.C.... hey, Og, you're right!" (Ug grabs mastodon part from Oogla and takes a big bite. Og follows suit.)

Og: (through mouthful of mastodon) "Oogla, I think we've got something here..."

CHORUS: "It's a feature, not a bug!"


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