Superheroes' Clothes

Alan P. Scott - Verses

unsung, until now, unless you count these

I

Superman's Clothes

 How does he get them clean
and free of super dirt?
 I'll bet he feels like an ass
    sometimes
in leotards and a cape.

II

David Banner's Clothes

Such an agony of stretching without breaking!
His pants should win the Academy award
 For their staunch reliance under stress
But his shirts can all go to hell.

III

Batman's Clothes

     Robin doesn't wear them when
He's gone anymore;
     He's found out that Catwoman's
          are more fun.
I always said he was gay.

IV

The Flash's Clothes

And you thought
          it was because he was fast.

V

Wonder Woman's Clothes

It's not the package
    but the contents that count.
  She has the most aerodynamic tits
     of any superhero.
  She used to get undressed
     in her transparent plane
until she gave three old guys
heart attacks.

Original content on this page ©1980, 1998 Alan P. Scott. All rights reserved.

This document last updated December 30, 1998.

Contact me: