Nuriko bit his lip sharply as he ran through the tall grass, trying to hold back the sobs threatening to storm their way out of his aching chest. Perhaps the wood surrounding the lake was not the best place to be in his long skirts and elaborate sleeves, but he was hurting inside, humiliated, and this was the only place he could think to go where he could be alone, away from scornful looks and mocking words.

Ah gods! What could he possibly have done to deserve such punishment? Sure, he knew both Tamahome and Hotohori-sama were stressed because of Miaka's long absence -- nearly three months now. He should have expected such biting comments from Tamahome in response to his simple teasing, and he could probably have even laughed them off, turning it to a jest. Or at least something less painful.

But why had Hotohori...? A hot sob escaped as Nuriko saw again, in his mind's eye, the hardness that had overtaken the beautiful face he so adored, heard the cold, cutting words spoken in that wonderfully deep voice. He'd never asked for much except to admire Hotohori-sama from a distance, but now--

He cursed as a sleeve caught in a bush, ripping almost completely off. With short, angry motions, he stripped off the upper gown, and continued in his furious dash away from the pain which followed, which was lodged in his heart, where he could not get away from it.

Finally he stumbled over an unseen root and lay sprawled under the thick trees, sobbing hopelessly into his arms, not even attempting to rise.

Eventually the tears stopped flowing and the jerking sobs slowed, though his breath still caught in his chest painfully. He sat up, curling in a small huddle, scrubbing his aching eyes and wet cheeks. He'd bet he looked anything but beautiful now, but he didn't much care anymore.

He sat quietly where he was, near the edge of the lake but still beneath the thick fringe of the wood's eaves. The moon was reflected in the black water, the shadows he sat in dark. It was cold, he finally realized, shivering as a chill breeze blew over his bare arms, tossing his tattered bangs. But still he did not move. Where else could he go? He couldn't return back to the palace. Not with--

He swallowed heavily as his throat tightened, then stared numbly at the water and the dancing moon for a time longer. His thoughts fled, his mind wandering the halls of the past. He didn't notice as a dark figure drew near, cautiously moving to sit beside him, taking note of the tear-stains streaking his pale cheeks, the darkness behind his unfocused eyes.

"Here, Nuriko."

He started, suddenly pulled back into the real world as a warm cloak was pressed about his chilled body. "Ne?" He blinked, a few last, leftover tears running down his face. "Ta-Tamahome?" His voice was harsh with weeping, and he winced. He really did sound like a boy, and he didn't like that much.

"Nuriko, I-- I'm sorry." Tamahome cleared his throat uncomfortably as Nuriko looked at him blankly. "I didn't really mean... mean what I said. Didn't really mean for it to hurt your feelings...."

"It wasn't you," Nuriko answered softly, turning his head to gaze once more at the lake.

"No, it was--" Tamahome shook his head. "Nuriko, I don't know why he-- Why the Emperor--"

"Because he hates and despises me," Nuriko whimpered, dropping his head to rest on his knees. "Even more now that he-- he knows... knows that I'm--"

"I don't think so," Tamahome protested. "That's not like him. He just...." He shrugged, unable to come up with a reason that made sense. "I don't know. But it was mostly my fault he said that, and I wanted to apologize."

"Wh-why?" Nuriko asked, looking back up at Tamahome in confusion. Hot tears were streaking his smooth cheeks again, his eyes dark with pain, his expression lost and lonely.

Tamahome smoothed away the dampness with gentle fingertips before he thought, then licked his lips, shifting uncomfortably. "I thought we were friends by now?" Somehow it was a question, not a statement.

Nuriko just stared, confused.

"And if not, we're at least fellow seishi. We have to-- We can't let Miak-- uh, the Suzaku no Miko's absence tear us apart."

"You miss her, don't you?" Nuriko asked, his eyes softening.

Tamahome snorted, about to deny it thoroughly, then he wilted. "Yes.... More each day. It hurts inside... so bad... not to have her around...."

"I know."

"You--?"

Nuriko scowled, turning his gaze back to the lake. "Do you really think I don't miss her too? That I don't care? Maybe I'm not in love with her, but--"

"Nuriko...."

They sat in silence long minutes, listening to the wind in the trees, the cries of the night creatures in the wood.

"Are you really a guy?"

"Huh? What kind of question is that?"

Tamahome flushed and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "It's just that Miaka said... but I never saw how.... I mean, you're still so pretty...."

Nuriko sighed. "Not right now. I'm a mess." He pulled the cloak closer about himself, then realized something. "Oh. Thank you. Why did you--?"

"I saw you run out without anything, so I brought that. I didn't know you'd be half undressed though."

Nuriko smiled a little, painfully but sweetly, at the grin he heard in Tamahome's voice. "I-- Th-thank you, Tamahome."

"No problem." Tamahome shrugged. "I owe you."

Nuriko glanced over. "Aren't you cold?"

"Me?" Tamahome looked surprised. "Naw. I don't get cold." He sneezed, then shivered slightly.

Nuriko shook his head "It's a big cloak. I don't mind sharing. Though you probably don't want to...."

Tamahome frowned at the raw pain in Nuriko's voice. "And why not?" he asked stoutly. He scooted over and joined Nuriko under the cloak, more to keep the other boy from hurting than anything else.

"Ooh, you're freezing!" Instead of pulling away, Nuriko embraced Tamahome, sharing his own body heat.

"Thank you...."

They sat, wrapped in the cloak, watching the moon draw ever closer to the treetops across the lake. Nuriko's head nestled against Tamahome's shoulder, and Tamahome wrapped an arm around Nuriko's waist.

Eventually Tamahome sighed. "Are you sure...?"

Nuriko blinked sleepily, then gasped as Tamahome's hand slid warm into the front of his underdress top. He stifled his immediate female reaction of screaming and punting Tamahome back to the palace as the hand roamed over the decidedly flat planes of his chest. Once Tamahome had assured himself Nuriko was indeed male....

But even after he had confirmed it beyond a doubt, Tamahome did not remove his hand. Nuriko gasped again as Tamahome's fingers brushed one of his nipples, which hardened in reaction, then raised his head to stare wide-eyed into Tamahome's dark, unreadable gaze as the hand paused there, toying with the sensitive flesh. His breath hissed between his teeth, his eyes half lidded, his head falling back as sparks of pleasure shot through his body.

"Tama... oh...."

Tamahome bent his head and captured Nuriko's full lips beneath his own. Nuriko's eyes grew huge, then slid closed as Tamahome kissed him tenderly, slowly, deeply. He wrapped his arms behind Tamahome's neck, threading his fingers into the strangely silken strands of hair. Tamahome's tongue brushed his lips softly and he parted them to allow it entrance.

Neither boy had ever really kissed or been kissed like this before. In fact, the time Nuriko had kissed Tamahome to make Miaka jealous had been a first kiss for both of them. But both were willing and eager, and both were fast learners, though in different ways. Tamahome almost approached it as another battle to be fought and won, but Nuriko calmed him, slowed the rush of feelings and desire, showing his fellow seishi how to enjoy the moments in sparks of pure sensation, rather than rushing headlong toward the next conquest.

Finally, however, both had to break to breathe. Twined tongues reluctantly parted, and Tamahome raised his head a fraction of an inch, his breath blowing hot across Nuriko's flushed cheeks as he gasped a little from going so long without normal respiration. Nuriko found this closeness without touching to be almost as heady an experience as the abandoned kiss had been. Tamahome radiated heat, one arms still hard around Nuriko's back, the other resting easily at his waist after having tugged the front of Nuriko's underdress open. The younger seishi smelled delightfully of rich musk and powerful maleness.

Nuriko didn't want to open his eyes, but finally he dared to. He nearly drowned in the liquid, passionate gaze, the night and desire making the clear violet-grey of Tamahome's eyes into deep, near-black wells of emotion. A strong surge of fierce affection shot through Nuriko -- love or just friendship? -- but also a great deal of guilt.

"T-Tamahome... wh-what about Miaka?" he gasped out. He almost didn't want to bring up that name, for it felt so *good* to be held by Tamahome, kissed by Tamahome, and he knew this, if nothing else, would break the strange spell that had seemed to have fallen over the two of them. But he had a loyalty to the Suzaku no Miko, both as a seishi and as a friend, and if he was going to stop this madness, best to do it now, while they were both still capable of calling off the storm of passion that had been rising inside and around them both.

"Nuriko." Nuriko caught his breath, then swallowed heavily at the deep, serious tone of Tamahome's usually boyish voice. He began to shrink back, expecting another, even more painful rejection than the one Hotohori-sama had given him earlier, but Tamahome's arm tightened, the other going up to wrap around his shoulders, drawing him even closer. He stared up at Tamahome in shock. Surely.... But, surely....

"Tama...."

"Nuriko, I love Miaka. I can admit that now that she's gone. And I can see more than you think."

"N-nanii?" Nuriko blinked, lost as to what Tamahome might mean. Even more than it already had been, the night was taking on a sense of unreality. He wondered if maybe he was really asleep in his bed, dreaming all this. But the chill air coming in through a crack in the cloak felt real enough, as did the contrasting heat of Tamahome's chest, where he was pressed tightly against it.

"I love Miaka, and I miss her more than I ever thought was possible. She means more to me than anything else in the world; even money." Nuriko had to smile a little at that. "You miss her too," Tamahome continued.

"I already said th--" Nuriko began, but Tamahome was shaking his head.

"You miss her as much as I do," he whispered, lowering his head to nuzzle Nuriko's smooth, blossom-scented neck. "As much as I, and we both miss her more than Hotohori-sama does, and we both know it. Share my pain with me, Nuriko, and allow me to share yours."

Nuriko's head was reeling, and the sensations of heat and cold rushing through him at the touch of Tamahome's gentle lips on his skin wouldn't allow him to think rationally about anything Tamahome had just said. He knew Tamahome was wrong. He didn't love Miaka, he loved Hotohori! And yet, he couldn't think of a single argument to voice as Tamahome's light kisses trailed up to recapture his mouth. And by then it was too late. Tamahome took his silence for capitulation, and kissed him soundly, reawakened the fires that had been damped momentarily in both their bodies.

Nuriko tried desperately to think, to come up with some reason why they shouldn't do this, as Tamahome stripped off his top entirely with hands that were almost rough, but still careful. But he couldn't focus, his thoughts were disjointed, and the feeling of Tamahome's hot hands running over the tense muscles of his back while his mouth still fed upon Nuriko's drove away any last lingering protests he might have made, even in his own mind. Tamahome was important to him, in the same way Miaka had been. He hadn't had any friends, really, since Kourin had died and he had taken up living her life for her. Now he had two good friends, and maybe, just maybe he could help the one without feeling he'd betrayed the other. And who knew if Miaka would ever come back. Perhaps if she didn't, Tamahome might need someone to take her place? Someone who knew her and had cared about her as much as he had, someone who would understand....

Wait. When had his thoughts come to agree with Tamahome's insane speculations? He didn't love Miaka, he didn't love Tamahome, he loved... he loved....

Nuriko moaned and tossed his head back as Tamahome's hot, eager mouth moved to torment his sensitive nipples. It didn't matter who loved who, or why. Tamahome was here, he was here, and it felt so good to have the other boy's attention focused on him, his mouth and hands on his body. Rational thought, as well as regrets, could wait until later.

Nuriko suddenly yelped and shot up. Tamahome had pressed him back, down onto the ground, and the dew-covered grass was *cold* against bare skin! Just how long had they been out here, anyway?

"Er, gomen," Tamahome blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

Nuriko couldn't help but giggle, even though he was shivering a little. Even that brief contact had been enough to chill him, and now that the cloak was slipping even more from about them, the air as well was cooling down his ardor. "What say we head back to the palace?" he asked, proud that his voice was only shaking a little.

Tamahome flushed more deeply. "Um... I'm not sure I can... um...."

Nuriko felt his stomach clench, thinking for a moment that Tamahome was afraid someone would see them together, but then he realized what the problem really was. Physical in nature, and easily taken care of. "Ah!" He giggled again. "Uncomfortable, Tama-chan?"

"Don't call me-- WAAAaaaaAAHHH!!"

Tamahome made a huge splash as he landed in the lake. Nuriko dusted off his hands and stood. That cold water ought to take care of the immediate problem.

"NURIKOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

Oops! But now Tamahome was coming after him with fire in his eyes. "Aiyah!" Nuriko grabbed his skirts up and fled, back toward the palace. Perhaps he'd cooled Tamahome's passion for the night, or even permanently, but somehow he didn't think so. Still, he would lead the boy a merry chase before he allowed Tamahome to catch him. Whatever happened after that....

Well, there were different sorts of love, and after all, three months *was* a long time.

~FIN!~

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