disclaimer: all characters belong to Yoshihiro Togashi, Shonen Jump, etc.

WARNING: major OOC for Hisoka and Irumi, SPOILER for the episodes up to 62, ova, the upcoming episodes, and/or manga 12.

also pointed out that the tear isn't actually at the right of Hisoka's cheek, it was at the left, so that's changed. ^_^ thanks, van!

also takes advantage of the fact that it was never mentioned why Kurapika became sick right after the events.

IMPORTANT NOTE: this story begins with September 6, RIGHT AFTER the Greed Island auctioning, until Sept 9. by Sept 10, story begins again.

It had been his idea, after all.

He had seen the multi-colored lights from afar and had wondered about them. His friend, Killua, had tried to dissuade him from going but his curiosity was strong and, not wanting to be left behind, Killua had sighed and agreed to go. So off to the carnival it was for them, then.

Gon Freaks had never been to one, and it was exciting. Killua had smiled softly, muttering now and then under his breath, "Just like a kid," but Gon only stuck out his tongue at him, retorting, "York Shin has a lot of places I've never seen." This, too, was said with a grin.

So in the midst of their games (their hard-earned money parted equally, Killua still being the efficient businessman among them) and cotton-candy (Gon liked their stickiness) and the rides, the two had fun.

When Killua boasted of his targeting abilities, a nearby man challenged him to a dart-game to which the boy agreed to with a bored tone. And he had won, of course.

"What did he win?!" Gon asked the man excitedly, pressing himself to the counter. "Is it big?"

The man laughed. "Is it ever," he assured him, plucking a toy from one of the shelves. "Ya got yerself a clown, kid." And here he handed the stuffed doll that grinned up at him, his yarn hair sticking into different directions. A red heart was painted over his right cheek and his eyes were small slits. On his head was a lavender pointed hat, and the same color dominated his clothes except for the occasional dots of darker purple.

"Give it to him," Killua told the man, gesturing to Gon. "It's his first time in a carnival." But he suddenly noticed the way his friend's eyes narrowed. "What's the matter, Gon?"

"Is it for me?" the boy asked.

Killua raised an eyebrow. "Well, yeah, if you want."

Hesitantly, Gon raised his arms to take the doll. It was almost half his size and he stared at it silently for a while as the man continued to holler for other challengers. "Can I exchange it?" he asked the man.

Seemingly annoyed by the interruption, the man shook his head. "No. It's the biggest prize here and ye deserve it." And with that, he turned away.

Killua walked a few steps ahead and stopped when he realized Gon did not follow. The boy was still clutching the doll away from his body, frowning. "Gon...?" he asked, then realized his voice was drowned with his friend's thoughts.

"But I'm not ready," he thought he heard Gon whisper.

But then, it could have been someone else; Gon's lips had not moved.

~ * ~

"How is he?" Killua asked as he entered the room. He did not have to voice out his disgust at having to push aside some crates that had become makeshift tables and seats during their stay in the shabby building; Senritsu could hear his irritation despite his trying to mask it.

"The same," she replied, sighing. "And the way Leorio's been hovering above him, I expect he'll become sick as well." She gave Killua a tired grin and indicated at the corner where Leorio was curled up, a stack of medical journal beside him.

Killua spared the man a glance before muttering, "He is going to be a doctor, isn't he...?" And to this, Senritsu could not help giving a genuine smile of fondness.

The boy made his way towards them and sat down beside the unmoving Kurapika. Even after two days, the young man had only opened his eyes for a few minutes. Senritsu's flute had no healing effect on him and Leorio had been at wit's end trying to figure out what the sickness was. It had scared Senritsu for a while, seeing the man's eyes glaze as if he was challenged with the sickness. It was only when he actually got Kurapika to sit up for a few minutes to eat that she appreciated his zeal.

"Did you get what you came here for?" she asked him.

Killua blinked and looked up. "Hm? Oh, yes. It was Gon's idea, and I think it'd work." He seemed distracted.

"Where is Gon, anyway?"

The boy shrugged. "Practicing, I suppose...for our plan." He looked out of the window and sighed. "Senritsu...Gon worries me."

"Does he?" she mused, rubbing her index finger over her pudgy chin. "I suppose he does."

"A lot." Killua sighed and there was some silence for a while. Then, he shook himself and turned back to her. "You sleep. You and Leorio need all the rest you can get, after watching over Kurapika. I'll take over you for a few minutes."

Senritsu nodded and settled beside Leorio, pushing away some of his scattered things that he had used to inspect Kurapika. She closed her eyes, listening for a while to the outside sounds, to the beating of the hearts of the different people in the room, to the footsteps nearing them--

"They'll be okay, right?" came the muffled voice. "Kurapika, Leorio, and Zeppairu?"

Senritsu's eyes opened again and she found Killua hugging his knees and staring out of the window once more. The uncertainty in his voice reminded her that he, despite being an assassin, was still a boy. She smiled and said in her most soothing voice, "Of course they will." She yawned, closed her eyes again, and answered Killua's unvoiced question, "And Gon, too. He'll be okay."

Her eyes were closed but she could feel Killua's heart relax and the tension leave his body. She smiled and slept.

~ * ~

Gon liked York Shin. It felt a little like home with all its different sounds and presence. He could hide in it and blend with it. He could roam the streets and pretend that the buildings with their shining lights were the cypress trees where the fireflies performed their dances at night.

Stepping out of the pedestrian lane and into the sidewalk, he let himself grin as countless of people passed him. He was just an ordinary boy, playing with himself. This made him laugh out loud.

Although he really shouldn't be cheerful.

This thought made him lose some bounce. Kurapika was still bedridden because of his mysterious illness; Leorio had been irritable trying to figure out the cure and finding none; Senritsu, understanding his and Killua's predicament, had generously handed over her money for food and supplies, to which Gon was entirely grateful; and Zeppairu was still out there, trying to exchange their money to collect 10 billion. The more he thought about it, the more his head ached.

But, and here he grinned to himself, I'm entitled to be a little happy.

Because he'd finally figured out the style he could use for his hatsu, and he was sure his and Killua's plan would work. They would get chosen to be Battera's Hunters, and they would get into Greed Island, and he will find his father. The last thought itself made him want to hug himself and he did, out of anticipation.

He was stepping into the park where the only light source came from the street lamps and one of them was blinking. It returned his brooding mood.

Around a half hour after leaving Hisoka and the Genei Ryoudan Danchou in the mountains, Kurapika had stumbled out of the cockpit and had fallen into Senritsu's arms, complaining that he "didn't feel too good." It was a high fever and Leorio, his doctor instincts kicking in, had demanded that they return to York Shin despite Killua's hesitation and Kurapika's mumbled protest. Gon had contacted Zeppairu and he had found them an abandoned building where they were now staying, lying low just in case the Genei Ryoudan or someone else decided to put a price on their heads.

Gon remembered the airship flying away from the mountains and tried to suppress his shiver. In his mind, he could remember a painted heart over a right cheek--

Shaking his head to clear away those thoughts, he looked up and realized that he had been darting in and out of the park trees for some time now. He leaned against a trunk and sighed. Killua's clown (he still thought of it as Killua's even though it was his) was sitting idly next to his and Killua's duffel bags back in the building. He did not tell anyone, but he had secretly hoped that Leorio left it behind in the hotel when he had packed their things before the hostage exchange.

Killua, he thought to himself with a little sigh, could not understand why he needed to keep it away from him. He did not want to hurt the other's feelings, but he wasn't ready.

Not yet.

And then, he gave another shudder but it was with his whole body. Almost frozen on his tracks, he thought frantically, I didn't use zetsu!

Indeed, someone had found him, and he knew that ki well. Petrified and shaking, he stared into the darkness. Not yet! he wanted to cry out but the only words that came out were: "I'm here."

A silhouette came out then and a voice said amusedly, "Well. I never expected to see you here."

~ * ~

"Come here, boy," Hisoka said.

He was being pulled, he knew, but he refused to succumb to it. Hisoka's face was against the light but Gon didn't have to see his face to know that his smile had widened; he could hear it from his voice. "No," he said softly.

"Are you sure?"

"What do you want?" He pressed into the trunk as Hisoka neared him. "I thought you were with the Genei Ryoudan Danchou?"

"We had our own paths," was the reply. Gon blinked and in a flash, the tall figure was now standing before him. It was dark now, and he could see Hisoka's face. Over his cheeks there were still the painted star on his right and the tear on his left. "Concerned?"

"N-no!"

But Hisoka only snorted and pulled away. His ki lessened and Gon found himself already able to move. Annoyed with himself, he rubbed his arms and instantly regretted the action; it could be a sign of weakness to Hisoka.

The older man, however, was not looking at him. He was looking around. "You just had to return, didn't you?" he muttered.

"We have unfinished business," Gon said, and promptly cursed himself.

Hisoka spared him a smile. "I suppose you do." Then, as if to himself, he said softly, "My business is done, however. Yet I'm still here."

"Why?"

Startled out of his thoughts, Hisoka blinked at him, then gave a menacing grin. "Maybe I want a new business," he hissed, tongue running over the sides of his lips as he leaned down over the boy.

Gon's arms shot out immediately, palms hitting Hisoka's broad shoulders. The clown stopped, not wincing when it gave a crack. His grin widened. "Scared, are you?" he whispered.

"Of course not!" Gon retorted.

"Liar." Hisoka leaned closer, and his left cheek brushed against Gon's. It made the boy feel warmer; confused, he shifted his head and heard Hisoka's soft laughter at his ear. "I like liars." His hand fell over Gon's arm, pulling him closer.

Gon bit his lip. "S-stop," he hissed, trying to pull away.

Instantly, Hisoka was at his feet and away from him. The smile had faltered a little but he still looked amused. "Lovers shall part in the night," he announced quietly.

Gon stared up at him with wide eyes but did not ask for an explanation.

"Tell me, boy," the older man continued, looking distracted again, "is your chain friend sick?"

The boy blinked up at him. "How did you know?" he blurted out, hands clenching in front of him.

Hisoka raised an eyebrow at him. "You found no cure."

"Leorio's doing the best he can!" Gon defended.

With a shrug, Hisoka looked away again. "I wish him luck." Then, as if struck with a sudden thought, he smiled. It made Gon wish he could wipe it away. "You can help him, boy," he said after some silence.

This made Gon freeze again and he squinted up at the older man. "What...do you mean?" he asked.

Hisoka was silent for a long time; he seemed to be thinking. Taking a few steps away from Gon, he looked up to the night sky where the stars were barely visible. "He's strong. If you give him the best care, he will be able to regain himself after a month."

"A MONTH!" Gon was dismayed. They had only a few more days before he and Killua presented themselves before Battera, and he still hadn't mastered the technique he had in mind. They wouldn't be able to move around much while Kurapika was indisposed. He bit his lower lip in worry. Of course caring for Kurapika would come first but they had plans of their ow-- "...huh?"

Hisoka was staring at him again, his face harsh. "Forget it," he muttered. And with that, he turned away, figure once more melting into the darkness.

Gon blinked at him. It was only a few minutes later that he remembered to unclench his fists.

~ * ~

The small room served his purpose. Closing the door behind him, he started shedding clothes and leaving them on the floor. He entered the bathroom, not bothering to close the door so as to hear everything from outside. The water did not soothe him however; he was still tense.

He couldn't understand. Very few, if any existed at all, gave Hisoka a reason to be apprehensive. It wasn't modesty, it was the truth.

But he could not imagine why seeing a little boy made him feel weak.

This thought angered him and he grabbed a towel to rub his body roughly.

Gon was not strong. His abilities were no match to Hisoka's. The older man should not guard himself all the time when with him. There was simply no need. Gon was weaker and, with all his good intentions, can never match up to his expectations.

Stepping out of the bathroom, he passed by a mirror and caught his face. He was scowling. With a growl, he thought about shattering it but thought better.

He could not believe that seeing a little boy reduced him to feeling an emotion he thought he had already forgotten.

Hisoka never did like feeling scared.

~ * ~

Stepping into the building, Gon could not help feeling a little nervous. Seeing Hisoka always unnerved him, but it excited him as well. It was a little like that time during the Hunter Exam, when Gon was trailing him: he did not know when the time for a confrontation would come, but he knew it was soon. But, he admitted to himself, it scared him. And scared him to death.

Killua knew this, but not to that extent. They never talked about it, but Gon knew his friend knew. Killua had always been sharp.

Sighing to himself, Gon climbed the stairs, avoiding the creaking of the floorboards. He made his way through the dim hallway and into the small room where he knew Kurapika lay and where Senritsu and Leorio stayed to guard him.

Seeing a candle lit in the middle of the room made him smile, and seeing Kurapika awake made him feel infinitely better. "Hey," he greeted with a grin.

Kurapika raised his head and Leorio, who sat beside him, looked up. The former gave him a weak smile while the latter raised a hand and returned the smile. "Yo," Leorio said as the younger boy settled himself beside Kurapika. "How was your walk?"

Gon hesitated, then said, "Okay." He looked at the corner and saw Senritsu shifting at the other corner. Turning to Kurapika, he asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Kurapika said softly. He still looked weary and paler in the candlelight but he kept his smile. "Killua came back earlier."

"I sent him ahead." With this, Gon fell silent again.

Leorio and Kurapika blinked at each other, and Leorio asked slowly, "Gon...is everything okay?"

Gon's head snapped up and he stiffened. "Yeah," he said cautiously.

Kurapika looked as if he was about to say something but he coughed instead. Gon instantly shot up and looked for water while Leorio fussed for him to lie down. Kurapika waved a hand at him and accepted the water Gon gave him. "I'm okay," he managed to say. "Still tired..." He closed his eyes. "Sorry," he added finally after a few seconds of silence.

"Don't," Gon said suddenly. He sounded frantic. "Don't be sorry."

Kurapika opened his eyes and smiled at him. Leorio brushed some stray hair away from his forehead and replaced it with a damp cloth. "Gon," he said softly, "don't think much." He closed his eyes again and sighed, falling asleep again.

Gon and Leorio watched him quietly for a few minutes before the boy finally looked away, sighing to himself. "Gon...?" Leorio's voice trailed away, the sound fading with the faint sounds of cars and shouts outside.

"He's really, really sick," Gon murmured, half to himself. He looked up to the man. "You haven't found a cure?"

Leorio rubbed his forehead and the boy could see that the other man was equally tired. "No," he muttered. "I posted a question in the forum online about it but there were too many answers. The symptoms are too common: high fever, drained strength, irregularity in breathing...I held off Zeppairu's offer to bring in a doctor when Kurapika woke up and stayed awake for more than six minutes." He sighed. "And I'm worried mostly about Senritsu. She stays up most of the time. She's closer to Kurapika than any of us, and she's more concerned with him. She might worry herself sick." We don't need anyone else falling ill, was his undertone but Gon caught it.

Gon bit his lip again. "...he will be able to regain himself after a month--" Hisoka's voice echoed in his head. He shook his head and clenched his fists, trying to calm the beating of his heart.

And Leorio, who had some training with nen, caught his aura and frowned. "Gon," he said, "what are you thinking?"

"It's not natural," Gon whispered, staring down at his lap where his fists were pressing. "Kurapika's sickness...it might be because of his nen."

There was another strained silence between them before Leorio spoke, "If that's the case, then there's nothing much we can do."

"I've been trying to develop my hatsu," Gon murmured. "But our plans will be pushed back if he stays like this. And even then, we're still not sure if he'll become better." He looked up, trying to fight the welling desperation in his eyes. "Leorio--!"

But the medical student only reached out and patted his shoulder. "I think Kurapika was right," he said with a smile. "You shouldn't think much." He gestured to the door. "Go to sleep, you need it."

Gon looked as if he was about to protest, but he nodded and stood up. The candle was burning lower now and he made a gesture to replace it but Leorio shook his head. Turning, he went out to hallway and to the direction of his and Killua's room.

~ * ~

When he arrived, Killua was already asleep. Breathing a sigh of relief, he felt thankful. He was not up for his friend's round of questions; he was sure Killua would realize that he had seen Hisoka. Gon also wasn't entirely sure he could keep it from him.

Removing his shirt, Gon shoved his duffel and some papers as a makeshift pillow on the floor before lying on them. He faced the ceiling, thinking hard.

Hisoka, he thought, knew something about Kurapika's illness that none of them knew about. It was unsurprising, since the man had trained himself far longer than any of them did.

But, he went on, frowning, how will Gon ask him to reveal this knowledge to him?

Turning to his side and curling slightly, his frown deepened. Admittedly, he was afraid of the man. He was infinitely stronger and he could, without any doubt, kill Gon with a single blow. His aura itself can instill fear in him and render him useless. The man's control over him scared him.

Unbidden, his eyes fell on the doll that sat quietly at the other side of the room where he faced. The clown smiled at him, almost mockingly.

I don't WANT to be scared, Gon thought angrily. I don't WANT to face him. I'm not READY.

If it was possible, the clown's smile seemed to widen. The painted heart on his cheek seemed to glow threateningly.

With a growl, Gon looked away and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to banish the clown's image from his head.

~ * ~

In a singular room somewhere in York Shin, a solitary figure lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling with a mobile phone in hand.

Hisoka did not like fear. He did not deal with anger.

It was better, he decided, to get rid of it at once.

Without turning his head, without moving the rest of his muscles, his thumb pressed the buttons of the phone to form the message. He had memorized the keys, memorized the number, and could remember it without looking.

In less than a minute, it was done.

And he would have to wait.

Growling to himself and letting his vision wander, his eyes fell on a simple vase sitting on a desk across the bed. He entertained the thought of using his strength to break it.

Hisoka had never been patient.

~ * ~

Killua was frowning when Gon finished telling him about what he had learned. "How did you know this?" he demanded.

But Gon was not looking at him. "I asked around?" he hedged.

Killua huffed but did not press. "Fine," he replied curtly. "So you're saying that if Kurapika has the best care, only then will he get better? And that's around a month?" Gon nodded and the boy assassin blew out a frustrated groan. "Great, just great!" He threw up his arms. "And there's no other way?"

"I don't know," the other admitted. "I was...distracted." He stopped and busied himself with looking for a spare shirt.

Killua raised an eyebrow. Clearly, Gon was hiding something. "Is there something you're not telling me?" he asked softly.

Gon blinked at him. "Um. No?" He smiled nervously.

Killua was ready to strangle him for information when Senritsu appeared at the doorway. "Good morning!" she exclaimed cheerfully. "Breakfast is bread and butter--yes, butter" she emphasized at the glower Killua sent her, "--and coffee for the grown-ups, which means me and Leorio, and milk for kids, meaning you and Gon." She gestured for them to go to the other room.

"We're not really kids, and milk is for babies," Killua complained as they followed her.

"Don't whine," the pudgy woman admonished, grinning at them. "We have fruit, too. Kurapika hasn't woken up but he'll get soup when he does. Doctor's orders." She nodded then to Leorio, who was sitting up and rubbing his eyes blearily.

"Caffeine is bad for my health," he grumbled as Senritsu handed over the styrofoam container to him. "Hell, it's bad for my teeth."

"It wakes you up," Senritsu pointed out, handing out bread to Killua and Gon's direction. "It also makes you a better person to talk to."

Leorio's face scrunched as he finished half in one gulp. "I'm not arguing," he told her.

"He didn't have much sleep last night," Senritsu informed the two boys, who only grinned in return.

During breakfast, Zeppairu dropped by and checked on them. He stayed only for a few minutes, telling them that he was on his way to having the antiques appraised and sold. With a final ruffle on Gon and Killua's hair (which made Killua red), he was again on his way.

Gon was just finishing his loaf of bread when one of the mobile phones shook. They all stopped and frowned, a little alarmed. Killua reached out for his beetle mobile, stating a little dumbly, "It's mine." He stared at it for a while and saw that it was a message from a stored number.

"Who is it?" Senritsu prompted, a little sharply.

Killua blinked. His eyebrows drew together slightly. "It's from my brother," he replied quietly.

Senritsu relaxed a little but Gon sent his friend a questioning glance that Killua did not respond to. After a minute of reading and rereading the message, Killua glanced up to Gon. His face held no expression. "He wants your number."

"Which brother?" Gon asked.

"Irumi."

Senritsu watched the exchanged, tensing again. Oblivious to this fact, the two boys continued to watch each other before Gon broke off the contact and reapplied butter on his bread. "Then give it to him," he replied in a neutral voice.

"GON!" Killua cried sharply.

Leorio looked up from his coffee and exchanged glances with Senritsu. The woman pointed to Killua and then to her own chest, indicating that Killua's heartbeat was affected and his emotions erratic. This, however, escaped Gon and the boy Zoldick.

"It's just my number, Killua," Gon tried to assure. "He's a Hunter, too, after all."

Killua's hands clenched. "Why does he want it?"

Here, Gon shook his head. "I don't know," he said truthfully.

There was another pause, and Killua growled before keying in the response. Then, without another word, he pocketed the phone and walked out of the room. Gon followed him with his eyes before giving a sigh.

"You shouldn't have lied," Leorio said quietly after a few minutes.

Gon shrugged. "I didn't."

"You didn't tell the truth, either."

"I don't know what's happening," Gon told them, voice harsh. But his hands, holding the butter knife, were shaking. He was biting his lip. "It's true, I don't know!"

And in the room, unconscious throughout the whole exchange, Kurapika continued to sleep, breathing still ragged and unsure.

~ * ~

When an unknown number rang his mobile phone around an hour later, Gon was not surprised. Thankful that he had offered to watch over Kurapika while Leorio and Senritsu went back to sleep, he went to the hallway to answer it.

The voice that replied, however, was not the one he was waiting for. "Boy," came the sleek tone.

He shivered unconsciously. "You," he growled.

The other person chuckled. "Are you sure it's me?"

"What do you want?" Gon snapped in return.

There was silence. Gon thought, for a moment, that it meant hesitation but it was impossible, he knew. Hisoka never, NEVER hesitated. "I want to talk to you."

"About?"

"Your chain friend."

Gon straightened. A thousand thoughts were running through his head, primarily was, I should've told Killua, now I won't have backup! and, I haven't practiced nearly enough yet!

"Are you interested?"

The boy tried to keep his voice in check. "You know I am." It came out like a squeak and he cleared his throat.

Hisoka didn't seem to notice. "See you in half an hour. At the park. Bring no one." And the line was cut.

Gon stared at his phone for a few seconds, trying to replay the conversation in his mind. Killua had not yet returned and when he did and learned where he went, he would be furious. But, his mind whispered to him, Killua did not need to know, and it was for Kurapika. If Kurapika would be saved, then everything will be alright. He shuddered.

He needed to make a decision. He didn't think he was ready. Who WOULD be, if forced to face a homicidal clown hell-bent on achieving his goal to become the best fighter, with no thoughts as to what or who he could destroy?

...Still--

--it was for Kurapika. And, indirectly, Killua, and Leorio, and Senritsu, and even Zeppairu...

...and himself.

He allowed himself one last shudder before pocketing his phone and going off to wake Senritsu to tell her of his intent.

~ * ~

He arrived late and he looked around, trying to find out where Hisoka was, half in dread and half in anticipation. He went first to the fountain and when he found no one resembling the jester there, he went to the playground and then to the pigeon-feeding area. No one. Just as he was about to give up, he saw that he somehow found himself through the thicket of trees where he had roamed last night. Entering the cluster of greens and drawing in a deep breath, Gon stepped deeper into the woods, realizing that the sun had dimmed considerably because of the broad branches.

He felt rather than saw Hisoka and he involuntarily froze on the spot. His mind was racing again.

"Took you long enough," the slinky voice grumbled from above.

He looked up just as Hisoka dropped down from the branch he was sitting on. His hair, defying gravity by reaching for the skies, looked like red flames flickering with the poor sunlight. Red flames, Gon remembered distractedly, were one of the most dangerous of all.

"I had to look after Kurapika," he defended finally, "and I was looking for you."

"Yes, I could see you," the clown admitted, his slender form gracefully leaning against a tree. His eyes narrowed as he stared at him. "Are you scared, boy?"

"No," Gon retorted.

"You should be." From out of nowhere, Hisoka took out a deck of cards and began to shuffle them on the air. Up and down and sideways they flew, from one hand to another, the plastic rectangles eased themselves over his fingers. Hisoka seemed distracted.

Finally, not taking it anymore, Gon snapped, "I thought you had something to say."

The last card landed at the top of the pile. Hisoka held them together with his left hand. His figure was stilled and he would not look at Gon. "I have a cure."

Gon blinked.

"For your chain friend."

The chattering of the people from the main part of the park seemed so far away; even the birds seemed oblivious. Gon waited.

Hisoka looked up and met his eyes steadily. "The illness is nen-simulated. Someone broke the chain law."

Gon's breath caught. "Is there something we can do?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Another pause. Hisoka began to shuffle his cards again. "Yes." But his tone was unsteady. He straightened, fingers working faster to catch the smooth plastic. "I have a medicine that can cure him. It will work faster than natural healing; he'll be up in four days."

Gon mentally calculated. Four days meant that he and Killua would still be able to participate in the Greed Island elimination without worrying about Kurapika, Senritsu, and Leorio. Also, they would have something tangible in their hands that will be proof that Kurapika would get better instead of daily waiting for his fever to lower. He could feel the stirrings of a smile. "What's the catch?" he asked seriously.

He instantly regretted it when Hisoka's hands stilled, catching the last of the cards. His ki heightened and lowered in half a second, leaving Gon still and then gasping for breath. His knees shook but he could not move.

Hisoka was kneeling right in front of him.

"I'm tired," the clown said harshly, "of thinking that the day will come when I'll lose to you."

Gon tried to protest, tried to say it wouldn't be for a long time but he couldn't. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead and trickled down his face and cheek. Hisoka noticed this and wiped them away with the back of his hand. "And I'm tired," he continued, "of knowing that I'm your prey as much as you are mine."

"W-what are y-you talki-ing ab-bout?" Gon stuttered, hating himself for trying to jerk away from Hisoka's gentle touch.

Hisoka stared at him, then broke into a grin; it was almost unkind. "I'm issuing a challenge, Hunter Gon Freaks," he whispered, leaning closer. His hands went to Gon's waist and the boy could not resist. Hisoka's ki was rising erratically, driving him crazy. In his fear, he could not block it. "I want you to take it."

"You--"

But Gon was cut short when Hisoka leaned forward to press his lips into his. In his surprise, he gasped and Hisoka's tongue lashed into his, battling with his own tongue. Gon's mind was of rejection, denying that this wasn't real, that the mouth pressed against his was an illusion, that the hardness that was pushing against his legs was not Hisoka but was something else, he just couldn't think of it now. His eyes widened and he stayed still, letting the older man's hands roam over his body, touching his chest and arms, sliding down to hold his immobile wrists. It was maddening and it made Gon hysterically think of a hungry panther stalking its prey.

It was only when Hisoka was trailing his lips over his arching neck that Gon thought to push him away. With all his strength, he let his ki override Hisoka's and stepped back, legs wobbly. Hisoka looked at him, expression instantly closing.

How can he DO that?! Gon cried out silently.

"You refuse?" the older man asked, licking his lips as if still trying to taste Gon there.

Gon let out a ragged breath before screaming, "DAMN YOU!" He swung a punch at the clown but it was, of course, caught. He swung again and this time hit Hisoka's face. "Why?! Why?! WHY?! WHY WHY WHY?!" He wanted to throw himself to the man and hit again but Hisoka grabbed his wrist and easily held him in place. "What do you want?! What do you want from me, you bastard?! You did this, your annoying ways of scaring people, why did you choose ME?!"

He screamed and screamed until he felt that his throat was hoarse. When he became limp, Hisoka let go and Gon dropped on the ground covered with dead leaves and grass, unmoving and eerily silent. He did not see the strange expression on Hisoka's face as he rubbed his jaw.

A few minutes passed. Gon stared blankly at the ground and Hisoka beyond him. They were silent.

And then, Gon said brokenly, "I only wanted to be rid of you."

"I wanted to be rid of you, too," Hisoka said. He was unnaturally quiet.

Gon forced himself to look up and realized that Hisoka was not looking at him. He wished Senritsu were there to tell him how Hisoka's heart beat. "Do you want to kill me?" he asked dully.

"I never said that," the clown replied harshly. His hands were in his pockets, undoubtedly toying with the cards. He was silent again before admitting, "I don't know."

Gon bit his lip and looked down again. The leaves beneath him crunched as he shifted. Hisoka's feet tapped on the ground soundlessly. "Then is that what you want?"

Hisoka stilled. "Maybe I don't want this. Maybe I need this." He paused before continuing, "I think you do, too."

Gon froze but his hands clenched.

"We want to get rid of each other," the clown went on, "but we need each other. I have something you need. YOU are something I need." The boy could hear the ruefulness in the man's tone. "Rest assured, I won't give it to you until you're ready. You decide." With that, he began to walk away.

Gon looked up in time to see him pass through some trees. "Hisoka," he called out.

Hisoka stopped but did not turn. "Hm?"

"I'll--" Gon hesitated, then bravely went on, "I'll give you my decision tomorrow."

A long time passed before the other nodded and walked away.

Gon curled up into a sitting position and began to cry.

~ * ~

When he arrived at his one-room apartment, he realized someone had entered without his consent. He knew that ki. Heaving a sigh, he pushed the door open and entered just as a figure stood from the edge of the bed where he was sitting.

"I gave you what you want," Irumi told him coldly, folding his arms over his chest. "I demand an explanation."

"There's nothing to explain," Hisoka told him, raising an eyebrow as he closed the door behind him.

Irumi gave a snort. "There should be," he sneered. "Why do you insist on chasing after that boy when there's nothing overly special about him?"

Hisoka did not answer. He merely walked to the desk where shards of a broken vase lay and dropped his cards. Then, rethinking, he gathered them again and went to one of the corner across his bed where a house of cards was being built and began to add a new story.

"Hisoka--"

"I'm taking care of it," Hisoka interrupted, voice dangerous.

But Irumi was hard-edged. "I should kill him to get everything over," he muttered, not really meaning it but he was surprised when the other man whirled to him so quickly that his house of cards shook and fell with a silent whisper.

"Don't, he's MINE!" Hisoka snarled, arm outstretched as if it could stop Irumi from doing what he said.

The eldest Zoldick glared at him. "Your movements and behavior have become irrational," he informed the jester, brushing his long dark hair away from his shoulders. "All of which show signs that he may become your weakness."

"I have NOT acquired a weakness," Hisoka replied coolly, body straining against physically manhandling the other man. "He is a passing fancy."

"He's become a 'need'."

"Something I intend to get rid of soon." Hisoka waved a hand.

Irumi's scowl deepened. "And if he doesn't bite the bait?" he challenged.

Hisoka stilled in the act of collecting his cards. He appeared to be thinking. "Then I'll recast it again." He looked up and shot a barb of his own: "Don't talk to me about weaknesses, Irumi. You still keep tabs on your runaway brother--"

"I'm leaving," Irumi cut in tersely. Walking towards the door, he turned his head and gave a final warning, "Don't let this ruin your future, Hisoka. So far, it's looking downhill." And he was gone.

~ * ~

Gon trudged through the hallway of the building. He stopped briefly to look at Kurapika, avoiding Senritsu's concerned glanced. Then, he went to one of the deserted rooms of the building to practice his hatsu. Even the exercises that used to excite him were gone now; it was replaced with a feeling of dread.

He had been kissed before. He could remember it clearly: there was only one person, a girl, his age in his home island and they used to play together whenever she came to visit. He was barely ten then, and they had run off together before she kissed him. It struck him then that it was an intimate thing to do and they had argued about it. A few minutes later, they were friends again and everything was alright.

But not EVERYTHING was alright this time, he thought, standing in the middle of the room and gripping the fishing rod that his father had left for him.

He knew, a little, of what Hisoka wanted. The kiss, although Gon wouldn't dismiss it lightly just as a "kiss" because it was more intimate, was a far cry from what that girl had given him. He had wanted two things at once: for Hisoka to stop and for Hisoka to never stop. It was confusing.

With a resounding cry, he stepped forward and poured his energy into the rod and let it whip through the air; the hook flew with the string and he tightened his grip, trying to maintain his control. It would not obey him.

Angrily, he tried to let go of the rod but he could not. His whole body was trembling and the hook was out of control; it spun around him before he screamed again and, with every strength he had, let it fall from his hands. He dropped on the floor and stared at the ceiling, trying not to cry.

"I don't want to be afraid of him," he said aloud, clenching and loosening his fists. But he was.

He could avoid it, he knew. He could refuse Hisoka's challenge and they would just wait for Kurapika to get well. He could use his money to buy equipment for him, they could move to a better place. Zeppairu promised to give them 10 billion Genis in a few days, they could use that, too.

But he would have to give up a lot of things, as well as ask a very big sacrifice from each of them, especially Killua and Leorio. He did not want to be a burden.

Surely, he thought to himself desperately, they would understand.

He didn't want to meet the challenge--he was too afraid of what his reactions would be.

~ * ~

Entering the room, Killua saw Gon staring blankly at the window beside a sleeping Kurapika and a reading Leorio. He dropped beside them, groaning and rubbing his arms, mostly out of trying to get used to the new feeling he had because of practicing his hatsu. Leorio raised his eyes briefly but he noticed that Gon did not turn to him.

"Gon," he said quietly.

"Mm."

Leorio turned a page and didn't look at them again.

Killua cleared his throat. "Sorry," he muttered.

Gon turned to him and gave him a small smile. "S'okay."

"Did he...?" Killua stared at his lap.

There was another hesitation before Gon replied, "No, he didn't." He did not tell the entire truth, Killua knew, but it was enough for him. Without helping himself, he gave the other boy a hug from behind and quickly pulled away when he saw that Leorio was smiling behind his medical journal. He immediately scooted next to the medical student. "Hey, where's Senritsu?" he growled.

"She went to get fooSHIT, KID, what the HELL do you think you're doing?!" Leorio yelped as Killua pulled away his hand that pinched Leorio's thigh. Killua "hmphed"-ed. Gon laughed.

"Great, I'm starved." Killua beamed uncharacteristically. Leorio glowered down at him and bonked him with his book.

Senritsu arrived a few minutes later and began to unpack dinner. Apparently, even from afar, she was able to hear their conversation and knew everything was fine again. That night, despite Kurapika's raging fever, they joked and talked as if old friends, Gon and Killua teasing Leorio and Senritsu.

Killua kept looking at Gon, he seemed more reserved than usual although he kept smiling. Kurapika woke for a few minutes and ate some food Senritsu offered to him while Leorio changed his clothes and checked his temperature. Gon sat by his side and chattered. Kurapika only seemed to listen but he smiled now and then.

Killua retreated to a corner, watching as Leorio helped Kurapika struggle into his new clothes and wipe the sweat away from his body. Gon had fallen silent beside him.

"Kurapika," Gon said suddenly just as Kurapika was falling asleep again, "were you scared when you faced the Genei Ryoudan?"

Killua's head shot up and his eyes narrowed.

Kurapika held out a hand to touch Gon's, eyes closed. "Yeah," he admitted.

"Are you still afraid of them?"

"Um-hm." Kurapika opened his eyes to look at Gon. "Why?"

Gon blinked at him, frowning slightly. Killua could see that his fingers were clenched at his side. "How did you face them, then?"

"Gon," Senritsu said in a warning voice.

But Kurapika touched Leorio's arm and raised himself to wave away Senritsu's words. After managing this, Kurapika blinked rapidly and Killua could see that his eyes were clearer than they had been the past three days. He was smiling. "Gon, if I didn't face them, how will my fear lessen?"

Gon stiffened.

"My anger overrides my fear, my goal makes me forget. I have not forgotten that they are stronger than me, but when I finish what I have done, when I have achieved my purpose, I find that though my fear is still there, what we just did makes me thankful I faced them.

"Because now I don't kill myself with dread and anticipation."

Gon's breath caught. Killua straightened. As Leorio urged Kurapika to sleep, Gon nodded and stood, leaving the room without turning to look at Killua. Instantly, the boy assassin was on his feet and following his friend, leaving Leorio and Senritsu watching them in concern.

He found Gon at the end of the hallway, staring at the closed door. He stopped a few meters away and said urgently, "Gon." His friend did not turn around and Killua had to let his eyes adjust to the poor light. "Gon," he tried again, "no one blames you if you're afraid of anything."

"I know," Gon replied quietly. "I figured it out a long time ago."

"Is that why you're acting strangely? Is it because you're scared?" Killua knew of only one thing--rather, person who affected Gon this way but he did not voice this. "Everything's going to be okay."

"Either way, I have to face it one day." Gon turned to face him and he gave his friend a smile. It pained Killua to see that it did not reach his eyes. "Kurapika never ran away from his fear. He ran into it."

"If you don't think the time is now--"

"But Killua, when is the correct time?"

Killua fell silent and his shoulders slumped. He could not answer.

Gon walked over to him and, without another word, embraced him. Killua did not resist. "I'm grateful I have someone like you worrying over me," Gon told him softly. "I'm glad you're my friend."

Unbidden, tears came to Killua's eyes; he quickly blinked them away and hesitantly returned the embrace. He did not protest when Gon's arms around him tightened, as if he would let go sooner. In his mind, Killua could remember Irumi's voice telling him, "Emotions betray you. Enemies are more important than friends; at least foes kill you directly. Without friends, you are stronger."

Killua closed his eyes. No, brother, he thought to himself firmly. You're wrong. I become stronger when I have someone to protect. I'm glad...whatever happens...whatever you told me...I'm glad Gon is my friend.

~ * ~

Lying next to Killua that night, Gon faced the ceiling once more. He glanced at his friend who had fallen asleep earlier, a small smile on his lips.

He felt guilty, not telling Killua of his intentions. But, really, Kurapika was right. How could he overcome his fears if he didn't stop running?

For the first time since they went to the carnival, Gon sat up and stared at the clown doll that was across the room. The hair made of yarn was messy than usual as a result of the hasty unpacking a few days ago, and its clothes were now dusty. Gon stretched quietly and crawled towards it.

The white face seemed to loom before him and he hesitated before picking it up and cradling it in his arms.

Closing his eyes, he remembered Hisoka's hands over his chest and felt something akin to fire licking his body. Hisoka was rough, he knew, but at the back of the kiss, something was gentle there. Something that told Gon that the older man didn't want him to break.

"You never got a name," he whispered to the doll. "I never had time to find you a perfect name. I never bothered before."

Doll in hand, he crawled back to his sleeping area and placed it beside him. He searched around the room and found his and Killua's identical beetle phones side-by-side on the window ledge. Quietly, he made his way towards them and picked up his phone, keying in a message. Then, tentatively, he picked up Killua's phone and searched for a stored number.

When he saw that his message was sent, he waited for a while. It was a few minutes before his beetle vibrated with a reply. He read it again and again before erasing the message and replacing the two phones. He then returned to his spot and in a few minutes fell asleep.

When he was sure his friend was sleeping, Killua picked up his own phone, searching for the last name viewed. Frowning, he tried to think of a possible reason why Gon had needed Irumi's number.

~ * ~

In his room in a huge mansion, Irumi Zoldick shook his head and gave his reflection in the mirror a wry smile.

"I'll give you anything you want, Gon Freaks," he murmured, "as long as you never ever hurt Killua."

His phone sat before him on the table, its bright screen the only source of light in the room, mockingly showing him Gon's last message.

~ * ~

The whole day, Hisoka did not hear from Gon and he tried not to let his anger and frustration override his senses. He went out, made plans, and bought a ticket for an airship to take him away from York Shin. After all, as he had unintentionally told Gon, his business was done and he could leave. The Genei Ryoudan Danchou would not return in a long time; he was no longer a Spider. He would have to leave or else if one of the Ryoudan knew he was there, he would be caught. Returning, he knew, had been unwise. He wouldn't let himself make another mad decision like this, he vowed, scowling to himself. It wouldn't do and it would upset his carefully made plans.

It was almost the end of sunset when he returned to his building. Riding the elevator up to his single room, he thought of packing first before taking a shower. God, he was tired and tomorrow afternoon, he would be leaving.

But when he stepped into the hallway, all his intentions vanished and he found himself smiling in spite himself. His hands went into his pockets.

No, he decided to himself, he wasn't smiling. He was grinning.

"Made your choice, didn't you?" he asked softly.

Gon stood from his sitting position outside Hisoka's door. His eyes were determined.

"Yes. I did."

~ * ~

Gon felt some sort of apprehension when Hisoka closed the door behind him and flicked on the light switch. Trying not to think of himself as trapped, he watched cautiously as the older man moved past him and went towards the bed. "What do I do?" he asked slowly.

Hisoka spared him a glance before going to his desk and removing his plastic cards from his pockets and placing them on the table. "You do nothing," he replied carelessly. "I'm going to take a shower."

Gon's nose wrinkled but Hisoka was gone. In a few seconds, he could hear the shower turn on in the bathroom and he looked around.

It was almost bare. The window opposite to the door overlooked the city but he had to draw back the blinds. There was a lamp on top of a bedside table and a single light bulb on the ceiling but it was turned off. The bed was placed at the left; it was large and made. Across it was a single desk where shards of a white vase lay; some had fallen on the floor. At one corner, a five-story house of cards stood proudly.

Gon neared the desk, frowning slightly, taking note that it was nearer to the bathroom door. With the messy piles of cards lay a crumpled note, a mobile phone, and a ticket. He picked it up and saw that it was a ticket from York Shin to--

"Curious little brat, aren't you?"

His head snapped up and he saw that Hisoka was standing beside him, an eyebrow raised and a towel around his waist. Gon could not help but blush. "I didn't do anything," he defended.

Hisoka stared at him for a while and Gon couldn't help but look away, his face growing hot. Trails of water had trickled from Hisoka's hair, now falling over his neck and face; the trademark star and tear paint on each cheek were now erased, leaving the man's face seemingly bare. And all the more dangerous. He shuddered unconsciously.

"Come here, boy."

Gon glared at him. "If you want me to do anything, start it right," he grounded. "My name is GON."

Hisoka was stunned, then began to laugh. It was not a bad laugh, Gon decided. "Okay," he admitted, holding up his hands. "Come here, Gon."

Gon took one cautious step towards him, then another, until he was standing before Hisoka. His face burned to think that he barely reached the other's chest. Hisoka led him towards the bed, pushing him gently until he was sitting at the edge and Hisoka was kneeling before him, staring intently into his eyes. Gon forced himself not to close his eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" the jester asked. His voice was strangely raspy.

Gon nodded firmly, not trusting himself to speak.

"Are you frightened?"

The younger Hunter hesitated before admitting quietly, "To death."

There was a pause until Hisoka's equally soft confession, "So am I."

Gon blinked at him and saw that the other was giving him an undecided smile. This gave him the courage to put his palms on Hisoka's cheeks, deciding that he liked it when the other man leaned into his touch. "I'm glad I'm not the only one," he stated.

Hisoka leaned closer, hands going to both Gon's side to balance himself at the edge of the bed. When his lips pressed into Gon's, the boy was ready and met him halfway, palms sliding to the man's neck, over his shoulders to entangle with the damp hair. He opened his mouth, gasping a little when Hisoka's tongue met his, urging for them to touch, to dance together. He shifted his head and closed his eyes.

This went on for a while, their mouths pressed together until they both drew back, desperate for air. Gon gave Hisoka a hesitant smile and the man bit his lips to keep from returning it. Instead, he straightened and motioned to the bed. "Take off your shoes and lie down."

Gon obeyed, pulling himself from the other's grasp to untie his boots and remove his socks and to lie on the middle of the bed.

"Have you ever--"

"Kissed?" Gon nodded. "Yes."

Hisoka crawled over him so that Gon had to look up to him. He's like a cat, he thought to himself, trying to suppress his shudder of both anticipation and delight, so beautiful and deadly. "Second thoughts?" Hisoka asked him.

"No."

Again, they kissed, Gon hesitantly trying to copy Hisoka's actions to his mouth until the other was groaning against his lips. When they parted, Hisoka asked harshly, "Have you ever had sex?"

Gon stared up at him, confused. Hisoka had pulled away because of a strange question? "What?" he asked, a little hurt that the man had stopped.

"Have you?"

"What does that mean?"

The barest beginnings of a smile flickered in Hisoka's face; Gon could not understand why he looked triumphant. "Never mind," was the mysterious reply before returning.

Somehow, it felt only natural for Gon to wrap his legs around Hisoka's tall form when the other's body covered his. He was heavy, but Gon could breathe. The mouth that was kissing him was now trailing over his jaw and he turned his head and arched his neck when the lips found their way there, where a pulse throbbed frantically. He gasped when he felt sharp teeth scrape his skin and he almost drew away, except Hisoka held his head firmly in place. Rough tongue lapped at the wound and it felt so intimate for Gon. He couldn't understand why the place between his legs was throbbing but it felt good to rub it against Hisoka's abdomen that he let out a moan.

"God, are you sure you haven't done this before" Hisoka groaned against his neck.

Gon shook his head. "What do you mean?" he asked hazily and watched with interest as the man began to unbutton his shirt and remove the undershirt, throwing both items to the side of the bed. Gon thought about protesting, that it was his best shirt, but the thoughts were lost when Hisoka moved lower and traced his chest with his tongue.

Gon had never thought his body was capable of such actions. His hands gripped Hisoka's shoulders, trying to urge him closer. He never thought such feelings were possible; Hisoka had found one of his nipple and bit lightly, making him cry out. Gon would never think those parts insignificant ever again. He panted out, "Hi--Hisoka--!"

"Shut your trap, boy," Hisoka growled. One of his hands fell on his stomach and Gon squirmed at it.

"You're tickling me," he complained.

"Shut up." And Hisoka's fingers fell at that part between his legs. Not helping himself, he gave a strangled cry and instinctively sought it, trying to let the hand engulf his whole groin but Hisoka only gave a chuckle.

"I hate you," Gon grounded out, glaring at him accusingly.

"I know you do," Hisoka agreed, pulling away. It took every ounce of his strength to do so but he sat at the edge of the bed. "I want to teach you something, bo--Gon."

Gon was still glaring at him but some of his protective barriers have dropped. "Is it something I'll like?" he asked.

Hisoka could not help but smile at the innocent question. "I hope so," he murmured. He motioned to the floor. "Can you do what I did to you?"

"Me do it to you?" Gon looked doubtful.

Hisoka shrugged but his eyes issued the challenge. "If you don't want--"

"I'll do it," Gon told him determinedly, smiling despite himself. He tried to slink like Hisoka did but he found it awkward. Instead, he knelt before the man and kissed him, unsure. When Hisoka opened his mouth, he copied what the man had done to him, trying to make revisions of his own, delighting at the small grunts that were escaping from Hisoka's mouth. When he bit Hisoka's neck, the other gave a surprised cry as he sucked. His two hands, infinitely smaller than Hisoka's long fingers, fell on Hisoka's chest, tracing the rigid muscles, finding those two nipples that fascinated him. He found them hardening at his touch. Pinching them experimentally, he found Hisoka's moan exciting him further and he moved on, liking the clown's taste.

When he latched on a nipple, Hisoka laid back, supporting himself with his elbows as he watched the boy suck. His breath caught; Gon was beautiful. The thought itself made his groan swell and harden further and Gon shifted so as not to touch it.

Gon transferred to the other nipple, licking it as Hisoka had done to him, finding that he wanted something different, something challenging. He began to travel lower, lips kissing Hisoka's stomach. He could feel his heart racing, his mind screaming at him that he would mess up, that this man...this man who was lying beneath him would kill him in less than a second.

He raised his eyes and found Hisoka staring at him, mouth parted and releasing arduous pants. "Hisoka," he whispered.

"Scared?" Hisoka's voice was husky.

Gon nodded. And then, with a pang, he understood. It wasn't Hisoka he was afraid of, but it was the feelings Hisoka evoked from him: excitement, obsession, passion, fascination...

He had always associated those feelings with Hisoka. He was afraid--

--if he felt them, he would become Hisoka himself.

But it wasn't wrong, he thought now, smiling to himself. Because I would never become him. I'm ME. These feelings are entirely mine...he just draws it out from me.

Hisoka was still staring at him so he whispered, "Teach me more."

The man visibly swallowed and Gon felt a little pleased that he was the reason that Hisoka was looking like that. "Get off the bed," Hisoka whispered in return, "and kneel in front of me."

Gon obeyed quickly. Hisoka opened his legs, removing his towel. Without helping himself, Gon found himself drawn to the cock that proudly stood before him. Fascinated, he reached out to touch it, looking up in concern only when Hisoka groaned.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Hisoka shook his head, leaning forward and catching his shoulders. Gon had to wince; the hands were heavy. "In your mouth," Hisoka rasped.

Gon frowned.

The man shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "My cock, in your mouth," he explained.

Gon stared at him for a while as understanding dawned to him. Their eyes met. And then, without a word, he smiled and leaned forward.

His small mouth enclosed around Hisoka's member and the man gave a loud moan as he watched the boy's ministrations. Vaguely, his hands entangled with Gon's black hair, now drenched with sweat. Into the heated cavern, he thrust up, pushing Gon's head down, not caring if he was gagging. GOD, this boy was everything he had dreamt of, he thought, not caring if he was babbling in his thoughts. No limitations, no reluctance...just pure innocence that he had lost oh so long ago.

He could not manage to fit his whole cock into Gon's throat, no matter how he tried. The boy knew this, though, and he found that Gon was stroking the base of his cock, kneading his balls with his unaccustomed fingers, inflaming him more. He gave a loud gasp, "GON!" and threw back his head, thrusting faster into the touch.

Gon stabbed his head with his tongue before bobbing his head down again. Hisoka's scent here was so strong that it made him dizzy but he continued until the man tried to wrench his head away. He made a disturbed sound in his mouth and Hisoka felt the vibrations in his throat, earning him another groan and a tug at Gon's hair.

He didn't want to come into the boy's mouth but he was so close, so close, that it would be impossible now, he was frantic and so hard-- "SHIT," he gasped, giving a final thrust into Gon's mouth before releasing himself. Surprised, Gon tried to draw back but Hisoka cruelly kept him there until the boy had no choice but swallow. He kept thrusting into Gon until he was entirely spent and he drew away, releasing his death grip from the boy's hair.

Hisoka didn't feel disappointment that the younger boy wiped his lips, coughing and gasping for breath. At least, he told himself he wasn't disappointed.

"I tried to warn you," he told him dully, pulling back a little. "You could have stopped."

But when Gon finished, Hisoka found that he was smiling. SMILING. The image presented before him was wondrous and curiously fulfilling. There was still semen at the edge of his mouth and when he stood, Hisoka could see that the boy also had an erection. The sight of a boy still in his shorts, hard because of him, made him sit up straighter, frowning at Gon.

"Hisoka," Gon said, smile widening, "I did as you told me."

"I never told you to swallow," he snapped back.

Gon inclined over him and Hisoka drew back cautiously, frown deepening. "You didn't have to say it out loud." His voice dropped. "I knew it, though."

Not helping himself, Hisoka grabbed the boy roughly, pushing him on the bed. He hovered above him, wavering for the slightest time before kissing him again angrily. Gon's arms wrapped around his neck, urging him closer, meeting him. When Hisoka pulled away, he could not believe he was hard again.

"You're a goddamn tease," he growled.

Gon looked up. "What are you afraid of, Hisoka?" he murmured.

Hisoka froze. His arms at both sides of Gon's head shook and threatened to give way but he closed his eyes.

Gon touched his face and pushed himself closer, tongue running over Hisoka's right cheek. "I have a doll clown," he whispered, "who has a heart painted right over here."

Hisoka's eyes opened and he watched the boy curiously at the edge of his eyes.

"I was so afraid of him. He reminded me of you." Gon leaned back, blinking at the other man owlishly. The light was above them. He reached out his hands and ran his fingers over Hisoka's chest, his abdomen, into his sensitive cock that twitched to life with his attention. Hisoka grunted and Gon had to sit up slightly to let his hands go northward to the direction of his ribcage and around to touch the base of the spine and into the rear. "But he was a gift. And, in a strange way, I like him, too."

The jester listened, holding his breath.

"You were always so strong, so unreachable, so fiery that when I see you I was always afraid because you made me like that, too." Gon smiled returned. "But I learned I don't have to run away. There was no reason to. I have nothing to fear anymore.

"So, Hisoka, stop running away as well."

There were a few moments of silence.

Then, Hisoka began to smile, then chuckle, and then laugh. He fell over Gon, kissing his neck and chest, then kissed his lips again before pulling away and saying softly, "You're right." His eyes were glazed but he seemed to be thinking. His mouth was pressed against Gon's abdomen and his breath and voice made rumbling vibrations against the boy's skin. His hands absently stroked his thighs, disappearing through the shorts, long fingers almost brushing the hair hidden inside. "There's no reason to run away."

When he raised his head, Gon was looking at him pleadingly that he stopped talking and began to act.

Slowly, so that every fabric burned against Gon's skin, he removed the shorts and boxers, sending them to join the towel and shirt. Gon's skin was darker than his, more tanned and sun-kissed. When he was bare before him, Hisoka kissed his stomach, just as Gon did to him earlier. One hand enclosed around his member; it twitched in his hand and Gon moaned.

Smiling, Hisoka sat back and watched as he pressed his thumb at the base of Gon's cock. It pulsed in his hand, turning purple as it begged for attention. Hair was only beginning to grow at the scrotum and he let one finger trail over it where the crack of the rear began.

"Hisoka," Gon cried.

Bending briefly to kiss the organ, Hisoka closed his eyes momentarily and opened them as he stared at the imploring face Gon gave him. "Trust me?"

Gon shook his head sincerely and Hisoka smiled. He pressed his thumb harder, earning a gasp from the boy. He leaned closer, his own cock throbbing to life at the sight of the naked boy sprawled before him.

"Afraid?" Gon panted.

Hisoka's smile widened. "Not anymore."

"Me too," came the moan, Gon arching desperately and rubbing his erection frantically into Hisoka's palm.

"Then trust me once." Hisoka inclined on the bed, pulling the boy to sit on his stomach. He urged Gon's legs apart, his cock gloriously before him before he reached under his pillow to pull out a bottle of lube. He squeezed some content into his hands, lathering it over his damp cock, and then making Gon position himself on all fours on top of him to smear the cool gel on his stomach. Without a word, he inserted a finger to stretch.

Gon gritted his teeth. "Hisoka--" he said.

"Gon," Hisoka answered, inserting another lube-coated finger.

Gon's eyebrows drew together and he gasped as he pressed his rear into the fingers. The long digits probed deeper until it was joined by a third. It hurt him. He tried again: "Hiso--"

"Afraid?"

Gon shook his head and opened his eyes to see Hisoka watching him strangely. One hand guided him to sit up. "Never again," the jester whispered as Gon's rear clamped down over his cock. Both gave out a cry at the same time, Gon's hands flying to Hisoka's knees to brace himself. Hisoka bit his lip to keep from crying out again.

Gon felt something stir inside him. His cock trembled as he felt Hisoka's length drive into him. He pushed himself closer, experimentally clamping his muscles tighter, half-aware this provoked a hiss from Hisoka's throat. Eyes wide open, Gon tried to plunge and pull himself away, only to plunge again. His back arched and he was aware that he was giving off a loud moan from the back of his throat at each stab.

"More," he begged. "Hisoka--please MOVE!"

Pleading had more power; Hisoka found himself moving in his own accord, rolling Gon roughly, shoving him into the mattress, his cock jarring deeper into the boy's rear with the action. Something welled inside Gon, he could not understand, but it made him moan again and meet the thrusts Hisoka made as his legs encircled the other's torso.

Faster and faster, Hisoka rammed into the tight hole, all conscious thoughts disappearing from his head. There was no more caution, no more inhibitions, no more fear. He was free, free to enjoy this boy's body that evoked such feelings, such terribly wonderful emotions.

His hand found Gon's cock, tugging and jerking roughly that the boy gave a loud shout. He, too, was saying something over and over; it took him a while to realize he was calling Gon's name and that the boy was also crying his.

I'm not afraid, Hisoka thought to himself, feeling himself coming to the edge. Irumi was wrong about a lot of things. This isn't weakness, this is strength.

And strength made him thrust more, jerk more, and Gon came into his hands, crying as he spilled white seed into Hisoka's hands.

It was only a breath later that Hisoka, too, felt the touch of orgasm as he released himself in Gon's smaller body, crying out again and again as he did.

~ * ~

Gon wrapped his legs around the man, not minding that Hisoka was almost crushing him. It was a comfortable weight.

"I'm heavy," Hisoka muttered against his neck where he had buried his face.

Gon kissed his hair. "Yes, you are."

Hisoka shifted but Gon's hold around him tightened until Hisoka had no choice but to remain where he was. They stayed that way for a long time, Gon's fingers brushing Hisoka's hair and Hisoka playing with the boy's left nipple.

Then, the man said aloud, "The medicine."

Gon blinked. "What medicine?" he asked frowning.

"The medicine for your friend," Hisoka clarified. "It's for the nen. It will strengthen his ki so that he'll be better in four days. He won't be back to normal for a long time, but it's easier."

Gon nodded. Suddenly, his throat felt constricted and he couldn't understand. Something gripped him, something so like the fear he had before. But hadn't he gotten rid of it? "Thank you," he whispered.

There was a moment's worth of silence again.

Then, Gon realized what was bothering him. "Are you leaving tomorrow?"

Hisoka's hand on his nipple stilled before resuming its activity. "Yes." His voice was hard again.

Gon closed his eyes. I'm afraid to say goodbye. "I see."

"You still have business here...?" Hisoka's voice trailed away, then he pushed himself up to a sitting position.

"Where are you going?" Gon called out as the other stood from the bed.

Hisoka turned to him. His expression was rigid but it softened at the sight of the boy watching him. He looked like a gentle clown. "I'm going to turn off the light," he replied.

"Can we turn on the lamp, then?" Gon asked. Then, with uncertainty, he rushed on, "Because I want to see you."

There was another awkward pause between them as Hisoka crossed the room, switched off the light, and neared the bed, pausing to flick on the lamp switch.

And in a tiny voice, as Hisoka returned to him, Gon admitted, "I don't want you to leave."

"Why?"

"I feel alive when I'm with you. And the next time...we'll be enemies again."

Arms wrapped around him and Hisoka laughed. It was not compassionate, but it was understanding. "But I'm not leaving yet. Not tonight."

Gon offered him a small smile before he leaned closer and kissed him again.

~ * ~

They didn't talk again much as the night progressed. They made love repeatedly, on the bed, on the floor, even the bathroom that was so small it barely fitted them both.

And when sunrise neared, Hisoka pushed Gon away and made him dress as he went to the desk where he revealed a bottle of tablets from one of the drawers. He tossed this to Gon. "Give him three twice a day. After the second day, give him one everyday for three days."

Gon nodded, catching it and putting it in his pocket without speaking.

"This will be the last time," Hisoka said harshly. His face was again cruelly smooth. "There will be no next time."

Gon stood. "I understand," he said levelly.

Hisoka went to him, hesitated, and kneeled, cupping Gon's face with his large hands. He looked as if he was about to say something, but he kissed Gon instead. When he pulled away, he had on a small smile. Gon caught it and smiled, too.

"Go," Hisoka ordered him simply.

In less than a minute, Gon was already on the streets, running towards the direction of their building.

~ * ~

When Irumi arrived, Hisoka was still naked, lying on his unmade bed, sticky with evidence of his and Gon's activities the night before. The Zoldick raised an eyebrow.

"I assume everything went as planned?" Irumi asked coolly.

Hisoka did not turn to him. "Yes."

"Good." Irumi sat beside him, the musky scent of sex surrounding him. His hand went to Hisoka's right cheek, not caring that the other flinched but did not pull away. His long fingers carefully stroked the skin where Gon had traced his tongue as he told Hisoka about his doll. "No more fears."

"No more," Hisoka breathed.

Irumi bent down, face hovering over Hisoka's, his long black hair pooling like silk and glinting with the sunlight as it brushed against the mattress and Hisoka's skin. "Very, very good."

His lips were about to touch Hisoka's when he felt a tug at back of his scalp. He stopped, amused. Hisoka was grinning.

"No more," the clown repeated gravely, eyes flickering with...was it danger?

Irumi did not known, yet he laughed, flicked at Hisoka's wrist where his hand that held Irumi's hair was connected, and pulled away. He laughed and laughed, but Hisoka understood.

Never again, he thought grimly, satisfied.

Irumi, after all, was still afraid of his brother.

~ * ~

"How's your technique?" Killua squinted against the afternoon sun that peaked through the blinds as he entered Kurapika, Leorio, and Senritsu's room. He let himself drop bonelessly at Gon's side.

"I'm nearly finished!" Gon replied proudly. "You?"

The assassin smiled. "Nearly so," he replied mysteriously.

Gon was practically radiant and he was bouncing with excitement as he asked Killua what technique he had chosen for himself, which the other firmly refused to divulge despite Gon's begging. Then, to avoid Gon's questions, he turned to Kurapika and commented on his health.

Indeed, Kurapika was looking better than he had earlier this morning when Killua had last visited him. He was sitting up and eating by himself, only occasionally aided by either Senritsu or Leorio. "I'm feeling much better," Kurapika confessed, smiling. "The fever has gone down and I think my ki is returning."

"Even my flute is affecting him now," Senritsu said smugly, at the same time casting a discreet glance to Gon's direction.

"I see." Killua raised an eyebrow but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Kurapika was laughing at one of Gon's story about a large fish in their home island, apparently exaggerating by the way he gestured and puffed his cheeks. Senritsu was smiling, obviously relieved that Kurapika was getting better.

Only Leorio seemed distracted, glancing now and then to his pile of medical journals and seemingly losing himself in thought.

Finally, when Gon excused himself from the room to give his technique one final try for the day, Leorio followed him and dragged him to the furthest part of the hallway. Killua almost got up with them but Senritsu sent him a sharp glance that made him return.

"Gon," Leorio hissed, fingers digging into Gon's elbow, "where'd you get the medicine?"

"I had a friend," Gon replied, frowning. "Is something wrong, Leorio?"

The other Hunter was frowning. "It's nen-induced, isn't it?" he asked in a low voice, noting the way Gon stiffened. "Both the medicine and the illness. Someone...someone broke the chain's law."

Gon was silent for a moment before he nodded slowly. "Yes."

Leorio gave a worried sigh and released him, casting an anxious glance to the room they had both left. "How much did you spend to get it? I know you needed the money."

"It was free," Gon replied firmly.

The other man turned to him, one eyebrow raised. "Oh really?" he said sarcastically.

The boy thought for a moment, then shook his head. "Well, it wasn't exactly free," he said slowly, "but it was good for both me and Kurapika."

"What did you have to do?"

"Faced my enemy," was the furtive reply. Then, Gon gave him a pat and a very big smile. "Don't think much, Leorio." He then went up the stairs, two steps at a time, and it made Leorio think how innocent and how much a child he still was.

Sighing, the man went back to the room.

~ * ~

The clown was sitting before him and he reached for it almost tenderly, stroking the yarn hair pointing wildly to all directions. He held it in his arms, studied it for a long time.

Up-close, the smile didn't seem malicious...it was a contribution of the moonlight. It still seemed mysterious, but Gon knew that it was a doll, it had no secrets of its own. It even seemed...sad, in a strange sort of way.

Still, there was something missing.

He cast a glance to Killua's sleeping form across the room, and thought hard, staring at the doll. He held it up against the window, then before it so he could clearly see the face.

And he knew. And smiled.

The next morning, Killua awoke to see Gon cuddling the clown doll, making it a pillow. The boy's breathing was low and even, telling the other that he was still deeply asleep. It only caught Killua's eyes for a second before he realized that something had changed.

While the right cheek still held the painted heart, someone had taken a marker and drawn a tear on his left cheek.

Killua smiled, shook his head, and went out to check on Kurapika.

end

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