The conventional morning of a shoujo heroine begins with a wail, realization of the late hour, a snagged mouthful of toast, and a mad dash for school. No matter the age, these heroines are invariably late, no doubt from having pressed the snooze button a few too many times, or simply from having set the alarm too far ahead. The schoolwork, of course, is never done, and so that is another source of anguish as they head for school.

Kiryuu Touma considered himself a lucky boy that *he* wasn't a shoujo heroine. He glanced at the buzzing alarm clock, which read 'seven a.m.,' stretched lazily, and reached over to switch it off. Plenty of time.

Even in shounen manga, many of the unfortunate young boys perform the same little ritual of lateness. Touma, however, was a model student, one of the top of the class, and seemed to have no trouble waking up in the morning. He slept the sleep of the...er...virtuous. Hmm, maybe that was why he had no trouble waking up.

He took special care with his appearance today. His parents had recently moved to another, slightly more prosperous section of Tokyo because his father had gotten a better job. This meant that Touma was transferring today >from one school to another. He'd already taken the entrance exams for his new high school and his father said the head sensei was quite impressed and happy that he would be a part of his class.

Touma ran a comb through his tousled tawny-blond hair. He gave himself a smirk in the mirror and a jaunty wink. He was excited about the new school because it meant new prospects for seduction. That was another thing about him that didn't fit into the mold of the 'typical' shounen hero. He wasn't dashing around trying to impress girls - he'd rather *seduce* the shounen hero. Or, more likely, his bishounen sidekick. Better yet, sidekicks plural.

"Touma, have some breakfast before you leave," his mother urged him, pulling out his chair. She'd laid out the typical Japanese breakfast for everyone - grilled fish, rice, and miso soup. Kaasan always liked everyone to eat together.

"Hai," Touma drawled, plopping himself down. He smiled up affectionately at his mother. She was lovely, accomplished, and very happy being a housewife, taking care of all of them, especially Aya-chan. "Itadakimasu!"

Aya sat in her special high-chair across from Touma. She had already scattered the surface with rice crumbs. "Ohayo, niichan," she said brightly.

"Ohayo, Aya-chan," Touma mumbled around his own rice.

Although Aya was eight, she only looked about five years old. Her peculiar stunted growth was the result of a congenital condition that would unfortunately keep her mentality at that of a five year old's for her entire life. Despite this, she was sunny and cheerful and they all adored her.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to school?" Kaasan inquired, cleaning up Aya's tray.

"I'm sure, I'm sure," Touma waved a hand airily. "I'm looking forward to walking today, like everyone else. And then I get to be the handsome new transfer student, so I'll be propelled right into social life."

Kaasan smiled a bit impishly. "I'm sure you'll have all the girls clustering around you, Touma."

Touma winked at her. *I sure hope not!* He was far more interested in the cute *guys.* Of course, that was a lifestyle choice he'd decided not to share with his parents until he was in college. Maybe a little later. They would probably be upset, even though he knew they'd conceal it well for his sake.

"Well, thank you for the food," he said politely, pushing away from the table. "I'd better get going, Kaasan." He brushed his lips over her smooth cheek and moved to pick up his school bag.

Touma paused at the door. "Isn't Dad going to be late?"

"Oh, no!" Kaasan's hand flew to her mouth. She headed for the stairs, yelling "Anata!! Anata, okite yo!"

Touma chuckled halfway down the block. His father was a lot more like a shounen hero than he ever was. He woke up tousled and grumpy - and late. He bolted his food, and hurried off to work behind the clock. It was a good thing he was head of his department, or he'd be in trouble consistently.

There were other students filtering towards school, some dressed in the same navy-blue uniform he wore, others in the colors of different schools. As he got closer to Tomoeda High, they were all wearing his uniform. He spotted knots of chattering girls and pairs of shapely boys, with the occasional lone wolf prowling about. Touma breathed in the fresh sakura-laden air with a happy sigh and sized up his fellow classmates. There were quite a few pretty boys.

*Mmm, I think I could get to like it here.*

Dutifully Touma presented himself before the head sensei, who had assigned him a class, 1-C.

"I hope you will like it here, Kiryuu-kun," the man said solemnly. "I've already made the necessary arrangements with Tanaka-sensei for you to join his class. He's expecting you today."

"Good!" Touma smiled brightly, the facade of his perfect student role firmly in place. "I'm looking forward to it." *That, and all the little hotties I expect to encounter.*

The head sensei showed him to the class he was to join and wished him good luck.

*And happy hunting,* Touma added to himself, with a contained smirk. He slid the door aside.

The man at the head of the class looked up, pushing his glasses up with an automatic movement; from his satisfied nod he had been expecting Touma's appearance. For a fleeting instant the man reminded him of another sensei with glasses but the image was dispelled soon enough; Tanaka-sensei had dark hair, short and neat, rather than the blond sensei with a slight ponytail that Touma had been acquainted with on such...intimate terms.

"Ah, Kiryuu-kun," Tanaka-sensei said quietly, gesturing for him to step further into the class. He turned and with a flourish of chalk penned the kanji for Touma's name in bold strokes. "Class, today we are joined by a transfer student from Choyei High, Kiryuu Touma. Please welcome him."

Touma squared off and faced his new class, expression quietly appraising. He kept his smirks to himself for now. There was an approximately equal amount of boys and girls, and he turned his attention to the male members of the class. For the most part, his new classmates were typical Japanese boys, not a pretty one among them. But there was a sweet-faced individual near the back, almost hidden behind one of his larger classmates - god, the kid was tiny! His expression was curious and welcoming, violet eyes large and lovely. He was crowned with a mop of unusual spiky chestnut hair, straggly gold bangs falling in his eyes.

In that instant, Touma marked the unnamed boy for further predatory investigations. He looked cute and innocent, and the navy uniform probably concealed sweet little limbs. It might be fun and he hadn't been anybody's first in a while.

His eyes caught on the boy seated next to him, who was scowling directly at Touma as if he'd noticed the new boy's appraisal of his seatmate. Touma allowed himself a slight smirk. The boy had his coloring, tawny hair tousled around his face, and his expression was clearly proprietary. *Keep off my turf.*

Oho, that one could be fun, too!

"Kiryuu-kun, there's an empty seat between Hikari and Emi, in the back row," Tanaka-sensei informed him in that rich, serious voice of his.

"Huh?" Touma blinked at the sensei, then looked at the back row. There was indeed an empty seat. It was between two girls. This had to be a mistake! "Ah...hai." He gave one final, challenging smirk to the tawny-haired boy and sauntered down the row to the empty seat in back. Then he noticed that the attention of the two girls was rigidly fixed on him.

"Hi!" the pink-haired one leaned over to whisper impulsively. "I'm Hikari! Welcome to our class, Touma! I hope you'll like it here!" She flipped her pink braid over one thin shoulder.

"Eheh..." Touma waggled his fingers feebly and turned to his other side, hoping to catch the innocent one's eyes.

"Hi, Touma-kun," whispered another female voice. The girl on his other side leaned forward, her blue hair shifting over one shoulder and blocking sight of the little sweet-faced boy. "I'm Emi. Now that you're here, we have an equal number of boys!" She gave him a little engaging smile.

"H-hi," Touma replied weakly. He scrunched down in his seat and fixed his attention on the sensei.

Dammit, first day in school and what do you know, he *would* get stuck between two girls. He couldn't even scope out the guys in his class, because they might think he was looking at them!

Ahh, that was what the lunch hour was for!

***

Touma lowered his face into his hands, carefully concealing his chagrin. *What was that Kaasan said about all the girls clustering around me?* He eyed the slender big-eyed waifs surrounding him, trying to gauge if there was any possible means of escape. He was hemmed in by their billowing skirts. Any attempt to push past would earn him slapped fingers or cheeks and a reputation for 'being ecchi' when all he'd been seeking was freedom! Not to mention, a rep as a skirt-chasing pervert would absolutely *ruin* his chances at the male hotties in his class!

As soon as the lunch bell had rung, Hikari and Emi had been joined by a third demure, doe-eyed girl - Fuuko by name - with large emerald eyes and short wavy blonde hair. She smiled at him, blushed a lot, and was extremely polite. In short, it meant that she was developing a crush on him, too.

By dint of careful inquiry to his little bevy of admirers, Touma had discovered that the sweet, innocent little one was Mutou Yuugi, a boy with considerable expertise in gaming, especially the local favorite "Duel Monsters." The boy who hovered so protectively near him, shooting Touma dirty looks, was Jounouchi Katsuya, Yuugi's closest friend. Uh-huh. Touma knew what *that* meant.

What he most wanted to do right now was shove the girls aside and make for the sanctuary of the other side of the room, the testosterone-laden one. He glanced up at Hikari. She smiled and blushed at him and opened her mouth.

"Touma, would you like some of my obentou? I've got more than enough to share! Yours doesn't look very big, and boys always want more to eat than girls..." Hikari prompted him, waving the lunch box in front of his nose.

"No thanks!" Touma lifted a hand to push the food away. Since Hikari was pushing the food under his nose at the same moment, his hand dipped over the side and stuck to a large glob of rice. His nose wrinkled but he kept his face mostly-polite. "Umm..."

"Go ahead and have that piece!" Hikari urged.

Touma blinked, extracting the bit of food he'd seized. It was a nori-maki, a particular type of sushi. "Ano...did you make this?" It was rather haphazardly assembled and looked like it might fall apart.

Hikari beamed. "Oh, Touma, how could you tell?"

Touma cringed. *It wasn't a compliment!* Gingerly, he stuffed it into his mouth. His eyes popped open wide.

"Are you okay?" Emi inquired anxiously. "Touma-kun, don't eat her food, it'll make you sick!"

*Now she tells me,* Touma gagged. He made a valiant effort and swallowed the morsel.

"Kiryuu-san, are you all right?" Fuuko added, holding out a can of juice as he turned purple.

Touma gave a parody of a weak smile and gratefully accepted the can of juice. The next instant liquid was spraying over his desk, joined with bits of rice. "Wh-wh-what IS that!?"

Fuuko twisted her hands together modestly. "It's my own special recipe. My sister has a juicing book, and I combined several ingredients to make a healthful blend of..."

*It's TERRIBLE!* Touma's mind roared, but he was aware that if he didn't censor his thoughts, they would probably cry. If it was one thing he couldn't take, it was girls crying. Man, they could be such a damned nuisance. "Ahh...Fuuko-san...I think it still needs a little work."

Fuuko's face fell.

"Well, of course it does!" Emi said impatiently. "Fuuko, what've I been telling you all this time? That juice of yours is terrible! Here, Touma-kun, have some of my water."

*Why can't they warn me BEFORE I ingest something life-threatening?* Touma wondered mournfully. He accepted the water bottle from Emi, who contrived to make their hands touch. The girl blushed at him, eyes lingering on him meaningfully.

Dreck!! Was this supposed to be romantic? Girls had really damned weird ideas! Touma tried not to think about the fact that he was surrounded by *girls* and drank down some water to take away the terrible taste in his mouth. Then he controlled the shudder that went down his spine. They were soft and frilly and smelled funny - probably perfume or whatever it was girls sprayed on themselves in the morning. Altogether, Touma was uncomfortable being surrounded by them.

He glanced longingly over at Yuugi and Jounouchi's corner of the room. They were playing Duel Monsters on one of the desks, and had been joined by another boy with a triangular crew cut, a butch-looking girl with short brown hair and big breasts, and a delicate little thing with blue hair pulled back in a ponytail. He wondered what Duel Monsters was like. He wanted to be over there. He was betting there wasn't a cloud of sickeningly-sweet girl perfume and the pervasive giggling and chattering that *he* was currently surrounded by.

That was it. He was going to make his move.

Touma pushed up from his desk, chair scraping over linoleum. Three pairs of big eyes confronted him.

"Touma, where ya going?"

"Touma-kun, are you going somewhere?"

"Kiryuu-san, are you leaving us so soon?"

There was only one place they couldn't follow him. "I'm going to the bathroom!" Touma announced to the three anxious, pretty faces riveted on him. *Please, please don't follow me.*

"Touma-kun, can we show you where it is?" This from Emi, smiling at him oh-so-helpfully.

Touma suppressed a groan.

***

Alone in the school bathroom, Touma flushed and moved to the sink to wash his hands. Despite male conventions, he was a firm believer in washing one's hands after that sort of thing. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. He pinched his own cheek. He smirked at himself. He looked very seriously into his own eyes.

"Do I LOOK straight, or somethin'?" Touma groaned aloud. He had never had this much of a problem with female admirers before. Usually, they had been content to admire him from afar, swooning from a distance, cheering at soccer matches. And they did NOT crowd in close and simper in his face!

"Nah, man, I spotted you right off."

Touma whirled.

The boy Jounouchi Katsuya lounged near the door, hands in his pockets, dark eyes fixed on Touma.

"'Scuse me," Touma muttered. "I didn't hear you come in."

"That's okay," Jounouchi returned, "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

Touma gave him a murderous look. "You got a problem with me?" he demanded, in between clenched teeth. "I just got here today, and you're already picking a fight?"

Jounouchi gave him a cool look, stance still casual, but a wiry sort of tension in his frame giving clues as to his readiness. "I saw the looks you were giving Yuugi. You can make advances on anyone you like, just stay away from *him.*"

Touma snickered. "Oh, I'm scared. You two are exclusive, or something?"

"That's right," Jounouchi said with deceptive mildness, but there was angry heat in his eyes. "Besides, you'd find Yuugi more challenging than you think."

Touma raised a tawny brow. "Oh yeah?"

Jounouchi gave him a faint sliver of a smile. "Yeah. There's another side to Yuugi, and that one isn't sweet or innocent at all."

Touma refrained from expressing his doubts. "You do realize that only makes it a challenge I'd like to try."

"Heh." Jounouchi withdrew a hand from his pocket, but it wasn't clenched in a threatening fist. Instead, he reached over and pulled the door of the bathroom open. "Oh Hikari~! Emi~! Fuuko~! He's in here! He's too shy to come out, but I think he likes one of you~!" Then he turned back to Touma, positively smirking.

Touma seethed. "This means war, you bastard," he hissed. His skin was crawling at the notion of emerging from the bathroom to be confronted by those *females,* now convinced that Touma returned the affections of at least one of them. He glared at Jounouchi.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Jounouchi grinned, a challenging glint in his eyes. He moved away from the door and sauntered over to the urinals.

Swiftly Touma looked around the bathroom for an escape route. The windows of this restroom were high and small. He would probably be able to wiggle through one of them, but getting up there would require a Herculean effort. Or Jounouchi's cooperation, and he'd die before he would ask that tawny-haired viper for help. The other option was just staying here in the bathroom until the bell rang and the girls were forced to return to class. But that one was no good, because he just *couldn't* skip class the first day at a new school. 'Kaasan would kill him. Although 'Tousan would probably think it was good for him to start acting like a normal kid...more like he'd been at his age!

Touma looked over his shoulder at Jounouchi. Then again, there was another option - taking part of his revenge now. So far Jounouchi had only noticed Touma's obvious assessment of Yuugi, and discounted the possibility that *he* might be a target as well.

He strolled over to the urinals and stood in front of the one next to Jounouchi, violating the Bathroom Code. A boy was *never* supposed to take the next available urinal - he was *always* supposed to put at least one urinal between himself and the other man.

Jounouchi's face twitched but he kept about his business.

Touma looked at him and stared openly, violating the Second Rule of the Bathroom Code. You never, ever, EVER looked at the other man.

Jounouchi glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, looked uneasy, and glanced away again.

Touma grinned and edged closer to Jounouchi, violating the Third Rule. You NEVER infringed on the other guy's mandatory three feet of personal space. At that point, you were open to ridicule and a severe beating.

"So, is everything coming out all right?" Touma purred, violating the Fourth Rule. Unlike women, men never, ever, EVER conversed in the bathroom. All business was to be accomplished in strict silence. Even gay men kept to the rules, mostly, unless they were trying to pick someone up.

"Ba-bakayarou!" Jounouchi sputtered. "Don't talk to me! I - I can't go when you're looking at me like that!"

Indeed, Jounouchi seemed to have stopped in the middle of things.

"Want me to give you a hand?" Touma offered, giving him a velvet Cheshire-cat's grin.

"NO!" Jounouchi leapt back away from his urinal, hastily zipping himself up. "I don't have to go anymore." His eyes were wide and fixed incredulously on Touma.

"Then do you want to stay and play for awhile?" Touma invited, advancing on him.

Jounouchi swallowed hard. "I don't know what you're talking about," he declared stiffly, turned, and stalked out of the bathroom. The door swung open and shut behind him. His voice floated back to Touma faintly. "Girls, he's waiting for you in there! He's just too shy to come out."

Touma stood and fumed.

***

The final bell rang, releasing all the students up from their desks in a thundering rush of relief and feet headed for the door. Touma stood up and was promptly mobbed by three eager faces crowned with sparkling gem-bright eyes, fixed on him. Three voices caroled out invitations to come visit their humble home, meet their beloved dog, their older sister. Touma snatched up his book-bag and made a run for it, pursued hotly by fluttering skirts and pleading voices.

"Kiryuu-san! Matte, kudasai!"

"Touma! Wait up, hey wait!"

"Touma-kun! Wait for me!"

Damned if he would! Touma turned a corner and vanished into the crowd of taller upperclassmen, breathing a sigh of relief that he hadn't hit his growth spurt yet. He still *could* lose himself in a crowd. He still had one more trick up his sleeve, now that he'd lost the girls.

The trio had one use, actually; they loved to gossip and he was able to pump them for information regarding the two boys he'd selected as prey. Mutou Yuugi lived with his mother and grandfather, who ran a game shop. He even knew where it was and it was in this direction he headed, once he'd ducked out a back entrance of the school to further shake off his determined feminine pursuit.

Since Jounouchi and Yuugi were such *close* friends, he was sure that Jounouchi probably went home with him, if not every day then almost. After all, he knew guys his age. They'd be snatching at every opportunity they could get, and the one after school to "do homework" was the most convenient. He'd used it himself several times.

Touma hadn't decided which of them to seduce first. Like he'd told Jounouchi, now it was war. But whether the most decisive victory would be seducing Yuugi out from under him, or toppling Jounouchi's own resistance, he hadn't a clue. He supposed it required some more careful surveillance and seizing any opportunities that presented themselves.

Ah, there they were! He spotted Yuugi's distinctive brown spiky hair, and Jounouchi's blond one beside him. Touma put his skulking abilities to good use, trailing behind them a good distance but still following. He'd put an appearance in once he reached the shop. Hmm, which one? They would probably be roughly equal in difficulty.

"Touma! Ya, Touma! I found you!"

Touma came to a skidding halt, feeling a chill shudder up his body. Slowly he turned around. Hikari beamed and skipped up to him, swinging her bag in a playful girlish fashion.

"Whew! I thought I'd never catch up to you," she smiled up at him, ruby eyes sparkling. "You're very fast."

*Ano...there's a reason for that,* Touma thought but didn't say aloud. Fear lent strength to anyone's limbs.

"I think Emi and Fuuko are still lagging behind," Hikari said thoughtfully. "Hey, are you going to the game shop?"

Touma pulled a long face. *I was.* There was no point in going now. Surrounded by the buffer of his female admirers, Jounouchi would just smirk at him and Yuugi would blink innocently and give them all a polite 'hello.'

"I...was just kind of exploring the neighborhood," Touma said lamely.

"Ooh, let me take you on a tour!" Hikari clapped her hands excitedly, flicking her long pink braid over her shoulder.

"No!" Touma burst out.

Hikari's face fell. Her lip trembled.

"I...uh...I have to be home soon," Touma invented the excuse on the spur of the moment, desperate.

"Hikari! Touma!" Emi's voice made them both look around. The blue-tressed girl jogged up, waving, bosom heaving slightly with exertion. Touma grimaced and averted his eyes. "Thanks for waiting!"

*I wasn't waiting,* Touma cast a longing glance over his shoulder at the disappearing backs of Jounouchi and Yuugi. Just as he shook off his admirers, they caught up to him again. This was ruining all his plans. How was he supposed to seduce and perform his usual sexual escapades with shoujo popping up out of the woodwork?

"Hikari-san! Emi-san! Kiryuu-san!" Fuuko appeared around a corner, panting as she struggled to catch up.

Touma had had enough.

"I've got to get home!" he burst out. He bobbed off a bow and backed away hastily. "Excuse me but my mother is expecting me very soon!"

Utterly defeated, Touma turned and beat a retreat.

"Kiryuu-san!"

"Toumaaaaa~!!"

"Touma-kun, hidoi!"

He gritted his teeth. Damn, but they were shrill.

***

"Tadaima," Touma called out, dispirited, as he crossed the threshold. He kicked his shoes to one side of the mat at the entrance of the house.

Instantly his parents popped up from gods-know-where, crowding in the doorway, a million questions on their lips.

"How was your first day at school?"

"Did you make lots of friends?"

"Does the study course look challenging enough?"

"Did you meet a lot of hot bishouj-oof!" This from Oyaji, cut off sharply by his mother's elbow in the man's side.

A shudder passed through Touma's body from toe to the tip of his head. "School was fine," he lied, slouching off to the living room. Yes, he had met a lot of bishoujo. Too many. That was the problem.

"A-na-ta," Kaasan pounded her husband's shoulder, exasperated affection in her voice. "Don't say things like that in front of the kids. You might give them ideas."

"Hey, a boy Touma's age should be getting ideas," Oyaji protested.

Touma slumped.

"Touma? What's wrong?" Kaasan's worried voice followed him, and a hand pressed onto his shoulder.

"Just a long day, mama," Touma assured her, using the childish nickname.

"The other kids weren't mean to you, were they?"

Touma thought of Jounouchi's eyes on him, hard and angry. He recalled the harsh words of warning. Then he recalled the baffled shock as Jounouchi retreated, and he smirked. Touma covered the expression with a hasty cough.

"My son? No way!" Oyaji said heartily, clapping his son on the back, raking back wheat-blond hair of his own. "Touma would kick their asses so fast-"

"Anata!" Kaasan rounded on her husband, eyes flashing.

"Eheh..." Oyaji scratched at his head sheepishly.

"Tomorrow will be a better day," Touma said with conviction. Tomorrow, he would be more forthright and determined with his attempts to know Yuugi - and Jounouchi - better. He was starting to think seducing Jounouchi would be a very tasty challenge, indeed.

Touma and his father turned, fixing wide violet eyes on Kaasan, speaking in unison.

"What's for dinner?"

After their family meal, Touma retired to his room and stared uncomprehendingly at his math homework. It was no use; in the back of his head, he was plotting a way to get around those annoying females. Really! He knew he was lucky to have avoided up-close admirers so far, but this was a little excessive!

"Hmm..." Touma put his pencil down. If he slipped out now, he could go to the game shop. Maybe Jounouchi was still there, but at the very least he could make the acquaintance of Mutou Yuugi

Touma nodded to himself, jumped up, and grabbed a pair of soft-soled running shoes he kept in his closet for just such an occasion. He slid aside the window and sat on the sill, tying his shoes. He glanced up into the moon-filled night.

He fell off his own windowsill in shock.

"Ahh! Touma! Gomen nasai!"

Hikari's pert face appeared over the sill, looking anxious. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you! I didn't know which window was yours."

"I guess you know now," Touma gritted, pushing himself upright and perching on the sill again.

"Ahahahaha! I guess I do," Hikari said, rubbing her head.

"Hikari-" Touma began, prepared to make an irate inquiry as to the purpose of this girl's presence outside his second-story window. It was too bad the roof was flat, just a little push...and...oops...

"Touma!" Hikari leapt at him, clasping his hands in a death grip, her cheeks dark with flush in the pale light. "You called me by my name!"

Touma winced, partly at the pain in his hands - for a tiny slip of a girl, her clasp was vise-like - and partly at the horrifying proximity of a specimen of the opposite gender. "Let go of me..."

"Oh, you *are* shy, aren't you?" Hikari gushed, releasing him but giving him a dewy-eyed look. "That's okay! I just hope it's me you like." She blinked up at him, face expectant.

Abruptly Touma remembered what Jounouchi had told his pursuing trio. Ah, shit... Hikari was here because she thought he liked her. He stared into her night-darkened eyes. Was he supposed to say something?

"Uh...go home," Touma told her, throwing a leg back over his windowsill.

Hikari's face fell.

Touma shook his head and climbed into his room, sliding the window partly shut. "You shouldn't be here. Go home, before you get in trouble." He shut the window.

Hikari's face lit up like exploding fireworks. "Touma! You're concerned about me! I'm so happy!"

Touma groaned and turned his back on her. If he tried to deny it, she'd only twist his words again. Instead he devoted his undivided attention to his math homework lying on the desk.

When he no longer felt eyes boring into the back of his skull, he turned around. Hikari was gone, leaving behind only smudge marks where she must have pressed her hands against the window.

He sighed and walked over, fully intending to slide open the glass and vanish into the night. Touma hesitated, his sharp eyes catching a glint of metal in the night. He peered at it.

Emi started, nearly fell off her tree branch in the large tree across from his house, then waved at him.

"Giku."

Touma snarled and pulled the curtains shut. He was willing to bet that Fuuko was lying in wait somewhere, too.

They had him staked out. He couldn't leave his own house under cover of night.

***

The morning was full of bright promise that even the prospect of a trio of calf-eyed girls couldn't quite ruin. Touma walked towards school at a brisk pace, anticipating crossing wits with Jounouchi again, or greeting gentle Yuugi with a smile. No matter what, he wouldn't allow a few girls to get between him and his evil intentions!

Fluttering streams of sakura petals coursed through the sky. He stuck his hands in his pockets, feeling it was a good omen. Spring time was for lovers and sakura symbolized revitalized passion!

A sakura petal smacked him in the face.

Er, well, it also symbolized the endless cycle of death and rebirth, but he needn't think of that. He blinked and brushed the petal away and decided it couldn't possibly be some kind of omen.

The school grounds were crowded with boys and girls full of happy morning chatter. Touma went on the alert, rigid for signs of his three nemeses, searching for a hint of Jounouchi or Yuugi. Then he heard a brash male voice, louder than the rest, and followed it to the source.

"I'm tellin' ya! It doesn't matter even if Kaiba *was* in his right mind, no matter how much money the guy has he would never beat Yuugi!" Jounouchi slapped his slight friend on the back and the boy staggered.

"D-domo for the confidence," Yuugi pronounced modestly, looking up at Jounouchi.

Oh, damn. Touma paused where he was, still partially screened by a cluster of upperclassmen. The look on Yuugi's face could be easily taken for strong friendship by someone who wasn't reading more closely. However, Touma was - and he could see the worshipful sort of adoration on Yuugi's face. He had it bad. Not only that - as the small group of friends began walking off, judging by Yuugi's almost too-careful movements he'd definitely *been* had. Hmm, Jounouchi did have a particularly satisfied look about him.

Damn, damn. It might be *very* hard to seduce Yuugi out from under Jounouchi...but on the other hand, Jounouchi might not be so difficult, being unsuspecting and possessed of a high libido. He'd toppled worse challenges before...

"Oh, Touma-kun! Were you waiting for *me?*" The clear high-pitched girl's voice reached his ears like an icepick.

Triple-damn~! He'd been so focused on the boys, he'd forgotten to even think to watch for the *girls.* Emi had caught up to him. Without even turning around, Touma broke into a run. "Ahh...I'm going to be late!" He bolted.

The voice trailed after him. "Homeroom doesn't start for fifteen minutes!"

Touma was very much aware of that fact. He kept running.

Once inside the school, Touma felt more secure with the walls around him. He knew it was more a false sense of security than anything, but couldn't help feeling mild relief. He had a much better chance to see them coming! Whistling, he headed for homeroom, hoping that his early start would allow him to mingle with the boys for a change. Usually a guy was allowed to mingle with other guys no matter how many girls pined after him - but Touma didn't have much practice in shaking off female admirers. At least, not ones who admired him from up-close!

He exchanged a few "ohayou"s with some of the guys he knew by sight, from yesterday. Touma had actually been able to make the acquaintance of some of his classmates during gym, because boys and girls had separate gym classes. What a relief!

Still, meeting his other male classmates had pretty much nailed down his choices. Jounouchi and Yuugi were the only ones worthy of his attentions, and they were together. Ah, well! That had never bothered his scruples before. It wasn't as if he was after either of them to be his steady boyfriend - he just wanted an uncomplicated screw now and then!

"Touma! Ya! I caught up with ya!"

Touma controlled himself before he could jump through the ceiling, or head for the hills, or any of a dozen drastic but equally valid reactions. Slowly he turned. "Y-e-e-es?"

Lambent maroon eyes beamed fatuously at him from beneath heavy black lashes. "You were running so fast, I had a hard time! But you finally slowed up enough for me to catch ya, Touma!"

Touma uttered a whimper.

"Are you glad to see me?" Hikari gushed. "Ohayou!"

"O-ohayou..." Touma echoed weakly.

The girl peered at the watch on her wrist. "Whaddya know, we've got plenty of time before class! Why don't we chat for a bit?"

"I - I have to go to the bathroom!" Touma blurted, childish as a preschooler and just as uncaring. He bolted for the second time that morning.

Hikari stared after him. "Was it something I said?" She drooped. "Maybe Touma likes one of the others, after all..."

Touma actually had one hand on the bathroom door when his third trial of the morning manifested.

"Kiryuu-san! Kiryuu-san, matte kure!"

Ordinarily Touma would have pretended he couldn't hear, or some other handicap, and just dashed into the bathroom anyhow. But the hallway was a crowded one, and he couldn't give himself a negative image if so many people witnessed him being rude to a girl. Damn his impeccable public image, anyhow!

As slow and wary as before, he turned. "What is it, Fuuko?" he said wearily, already knowing who his pursuer was. Who else would call him Kiryuu-san?

"Oh, Kiryuu-san!" The blonde girl acquired a blush. "You called me by my name..."

Touma winced. He'd made that mistake last night, and forgotten. Honestly, the lack of any honorific didn't imply intimacy on his part - on the contrary, he meant it as a lack of respect!

"What is it?" he repeated, a trifle impatiently. If he had any sort of luck at all, he wouldn't be the only boy in the bathroom.

"Ah...ano...eto...that is..." Fuuko attempted, fluttering her hands helplessly, still blushing furiously. "I wanted...I mean...I thought..."

"Just spit it out!" Touma cut through her fragmented sentences.

Fuuko squared her shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Would you have lunch with us today?"

Was that IT? Touma prevented a facevault with difficulty. "Um...I have other plans," he told her truthfully, backing away from the stricken look in her eyes and pushing the bathroom door open. He made his escape. It was true, indeed...he definitely had other things to do with his lunch period!

"K-Kiryuu-san!" Her voice reached him plaintively through the door.

Touma breathed a sigh of relief. The bathroom was empty, though, and he made a disappointed little moue. After relieving himself, he washed his hands and moved towards the door.

"I'm pretty sure he's in there," a feminine voice whispered.

"Yes, he is," another confirmed. "He went in there five minutes and hasn't come out yet."

"Touma-kun will be late for homeroom! We should do something!" That one had to be Emi.

"Should we crack the door open and yell his name?" That from Hikari.

Touma shuddered. There was no longer any place he was safe.

"Dame!" Fuuko's voice exclaimed, shocked. "We can't do that."

"Well, let's get Jounouchi-kun. He and Touma-kun seemed to get along okay." That was Emi again.

"Great idea!" Hikari burst out, full of enthusiasm. "I'll go and get him!"

Touma grinned evilly. This was the best idea the three of them had had, yet.

He moved away from the door and wandered back towards one of the stalls. He wondered what the best vantage point would be for Jounouchi's entrance. He debated whether or not he should grope him or just verbally spar again, as yesterday. Surely Jounouchi would be prepared...

That was why he should grope the boy, his libido urged.

The door swung open and sneakers squeaked over the tile.

"Oi! Touma, I heard ya fell in," Jounouchi's brash voice rang through the boy's bathroom.

Touma peered out of his stall and his face fell. Jounouchi wasn't alone.

"I'm just fine," Touma said breezily. "What, a boy isn't allowed to take his time in the morning?" He sauntered out of the stall.

Jounouchi glared at him, arms crossed. "You're a weird guy," he pronounced.

Yuugi stood beside him, looking cute and a bit clueless. His face brightened when he saw Touma. "Hi, I'm Mutou Yuugi," he introduced himself, holding out one hand. "Yoroshiku."

Jounouchi looked as if he'd like to put himself between his friend and his rival.

"Hi, I'm Kiryuu Touma," Touma purred, stepping forward to clasp Yuugi's hand.

He looked deeply into the violet eyes and saw only ready friendship there. The boy certainly seemed innocent, and yet, to be with Jounouchi... Maa, he'd think about it later.

"All right, that's enough," Jounouchi snapped, taking a step forward. "You should be running along to class, don't you think?"

"Jounouchi-kun," Yuugi reproached, "that's not very friendly. This is only Touma-kun's second day at class, and we should make him feel welcome."

Touma grinned at Yuugi, then turned the expression insolently on Jounouchi. "Aa! You should be making me feel welcome." His grin morphed into more of a smirk as his eyes lingered on Jounouchi.

To his surprise, the tawny-haired boy flushed. "Let's go, Yuugi. Touma has his own little fanclub waiting outside...they're giving him plenty of welcome by themselves."

Touma flinched. A telling blow.

Now Jounouchi was the one who was smirking. "Mata ne, Touma-KUN." They disappeared through the door.

Touma stared at the door and shivered. Beyond it, lay both the objects of his desire, and his very worst fear. The problem was, he'd have to go through the girls to get to the boys he so desperately desired

Maybe if he waited until the bell rang...

Dame, dame, dame! Touma shook his head. He was being silly over absolutely nothing. Well, it wasn't *nothing,* but he shouldn't allow himself to get this worked up over a trio of silly girls! Despite the fact that he absolutely wanted nothing to do with them...

Resolutely, he took a deep breath and marched out of the bathroom.

With quivering eyes and trembling lips and gently-heaving bosoms, the three girls stood waiting for him, hands clasped.

"Touma!"

"Touma-kun!"

"Kiryuu-san!"

Touma stared. "Mou, dame!" he wailed, heeding his earlier impulses and fleeing for his life.

"Chotto mata!"

"Matte, Touma-kun!"

"Kiryuu-san, matte kudasai!"

He put on an extra burst of speed.

***

The day was disappointingly normal. He managed to avoid the girls for lunch-time by hiding in a tree. Okay, so maybe that part of his day wasn't normal. With the girls combing the grounds for him holding out bento boxes hopefully, Touma didn't have an opportunity to sidle up to either Jounouchi or Yuugi. And that ran contrary to the blueprint of his evil plans!

These girls were really becoming an inconvenience. And worse, Touma found himself completely befuddled. He just couldn't handle the application of quivering lips and trembling eyes and... and all the rest!

All right, all right, so he was a gay boy with a mild fear of predatory girls. But...but...he understood what they wanted him for, and it frightened him! Romance ran contrary to his entire way of life, and he had absolutely no attraction to the female figure.

After school, he was the first one out the door, to the jangling tune of "Touma-kun! Touma! Kiryuu-san!" behind him. After darting around the corner, he jumped out the window. Fortunately, his class was on the first floor.

"Ah! Lost 'em," he said with satisfaction, walking not-so-slowly out the school gates. Damn it, they were ruining his image - he was supposed to *saunter,* basking in the attentions of the admiring lower-classmen and coolly ignoring the girls while he mingled with his hot classmates. Touma sighed. Maybe that was it; he'd had it easy for too long, and karma was finally coming for him.

Furtively Touma looked around. He still didn't see girls anywhere. Somehow he'd expected them to be more determined in their pursuit. Then again, he'd shaken them off pretty quickly.

Whistling happily, he headed for the Mutou game shop.

Fifteen minutes later, Jounouchi and Yuugi pushed open the door of the game shop and the bell jingled merrily.

Touma and Yuugi's Jiichan looked up from a lively game of Duel Monsters.

"Ya! Touma-kun, I didn't expect to see you here!" Yuugi greeted the boy with a smile.

Jounouchi scowled at him. "What *are* you doing here?" he growled, obviously biting an insult off before he voiced it.

"Yuugi's Jiichan taught me how to play Duel Monsters," Touma replied, his eyes sparkling with innocent good humor. "I was happy to learn it because I wasn't able to play with you guys yesterday or today."

"That's great!" Yuugi said happily. "I'll play with you next!"

Touma grinned at Jounouchi, an expression full of limpidity.

Jounouchi glared at him.

After awhile, Yuugi's Jiichan won and Yuugi took his place. Touma cast many sidelong glances at Jounouchi, who sat very close to their game, fuming. As the shop grew more crowded with high school students spending their cash, Touma grew progressively nervous. The girls hadn't showed up yet. Was he actually getting a reprieve? Had they lost their determination so quickly? Masaka...

"Jounouchi-kun," Touma drawled, giving their seatmate a significant look beneath heavy lashes, "would you like to play with me next?"

Jounouchi blinked at him, then choked and turned crimson when a foot brushed against his calf beneath the table.

"Doushita no, Jounouchi-kun?" Yuugi inquired innocently, looking from Touma to his friend.

"N-nan...demo..." Jounouchi gritted, forcing a weak smile onto his face as he looked at Yuugi.

The minute the boy's face turned away, Jounouchi kicked Touma under the table.

"Your move!" Touma said brightly, after putting his attack card down. He didn't even need to look at Jounouchi as one foot moved beneath the table, tracing a line from calf and up the outer thigh.

Jounouchi turned purple. He lurched up from the table.

"Jounouchi-kun!" Yuugi said, looking concerned.

"N-nothing! I'm going to get some drinks!"

"Get me a Pepsi, onegai!" Touma called after him.

He received an inarticulate growl in response.

Yuugi had an adorable frown of concentration on his face as he studied the move Touma had made. He chewed on his sweet little lower lip. Touma was in his element. This was how things should be!

He felt an uneasy twinge when he considered the girls. Where were they? Were they perhaps lying in wait somewhere? Would he pay for this moment of bliss with a lot of suffering?

Maa, ii ka! As long as they weren't here right now, he just wasn't going to think about them. At *all.*

Jounouchi returned to the table with a couple of drinks and moved his chair pointedly away from Touma. He sat slightly behind Yuugi now, observing the game.

"Where's my Pepsi?" Touma aimed slightly hurt eyes at him.

Jounouchi's gaze hardened.

"Ah, I guess I was expecting too much," Touma sighed, with just the right note of disappointment in his voice. "It's reaching too far to expect the two most popular guys in my class to want to be friends right away."

Jounouchi sputtered.

"What are you talking about, Touma-kun?" Yuugi raised puzzled eyes to his face. "I'll be your friend?"

Jounouchi's noises turned strangled.

"Would you really, Yuugi-kun?" Touma said eagerly. "Oh, I'd be so happy! It's hard changing schools; I still don't really know anyone here..."

"But you do have quite a devoted fanclub already," Jounouchi regained his voice long enough to point out.

Touma shrugged that off. "A guy's friends should be other guys. Girls just don't share the same interests." *Heh...except for sexual preference!*

Yuugi nodded vigorously. "It's good to have friends!"

Jounouchi was trying to communicate something to Touma through slitted eyes. It wasn't very nice or polite and it was a *lot* violent, so Touma ignored him.

At last their game finished and Yuugi got up to ask his Jiichan a question.

Jounouchi slid into the chair opposite Touma, his brown-eyed gaze searing.

"Ah, Jounouchi! Would you like to play a game, after all?" he inquired, infusing his voice with all the youthful charm he could muster.

"Cut the crap," Jounouchi said with an impatient gesture. "You may be fooling the good-natured Yuugi, but you'll never fool me. Go home, Touma."

"How rude!" Touma protested. "I was just starting to have fun." He leaned forward a little and his toe glided up Jounouchi's thigh again.

Jounouchi leapt up as if he'd been stung.

"If you don't leave us alone, I'll...I'll..."

"You'll what?" Touma dropped his facade enough to smirk. "You've already told the girls that I like one of them. I'll never get any peace at school! What could you possibly do that would be worse?"

Jounouchi stared at him helplessly for a moment, hands fisted at his sides. Then a slow matching smirk spread over his face. "I'll tell them all that you want to go on the Tunnel of Love with them this Saturday for the field trip." When Touma's face froze in horror, he continued. "Then I'll tell each of the girls that you told the other girls you wanted to go steady with them."

Touma stared at him, mouth gaping open a bit in shock. That *was* worse. Much, much worse.

"And you won't...if I go?" he inquired hoarsely.

Jounouchi nodded in a very self-satisfied way. "If you leave now, I won't make trouble."

Slumping in defeat, Touma left the game shop.

***

The sky was beginning to acquire streaks of color along the horizon as the sun set over Tokyo, settling clouds ablaze. Touma walked home alone, feeling more than a little forlorn. He'd had a clear shot at furthering his plans today - the girls had been far away, for some reason he didn't yet know, but could still appreciate. However, Jounouchi had been able to foil his plans by using the girls against him, again.

Arggggh!! Infuriating was the least of the words that occurred to him.

If he were even a little bit bisexual, he could encourage the girls and play them against each other. But mostly he just felt the urge to cringe when he was in their presence. He could tolerate girls when they had no interest in him.

Besides, girls were way more sensitive about feelings, and stuff. Playing them against each other would be more than a little contemptible.

He sighed and flipped his book bag over his shoulder. There was just no good way to get rid of them, was there?

"Tadaima," Touma called out as he pushed the door open, kicking his shoes off then lining them up neatly in the family cubbyhole. He blinked, and did a double-take. There were some shoes lined up in the guest cubbyhole. As far as he knew, Kaasan wasn't entertaining today.

"Okaeri, Touma! We're in the kitchen!"

We? Touma's curiosity was pricked. He tossed his book bag aside and sauntered into the kitchen, hands pushing into his uniform pockets.

"Touma-kun!"

"Kiryuu-san!"

"Ya, Touma!"

Touma blinked and wasn't sure for a moment if he was seeing a desert mirage or an equally disturbing vision. Emi, Fuuko, and Hikari were seated at the kitchen table with his mother, drinking tea and beaming up at him now that he'd joined them.

"Touma, your little friends were here wondering what you were doing after school. I wasn't sure, so I invited them in for tea. It's not polite to make ladies wait, you know!" Kaasan smiled up from her own tea, expression gently chiding.

Touma had been sunken into a nightmare, he was sure of it. The girls had insinuated their way into his home now. And Kaasan surely thought he was dating all three of them!

"Ah...hi," Touma waved weakly.

The three girls grinned at him fatuously.

"Boy, I didn't know you had become so popular with the ladies!" Oyaji stepped into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. He gave them his patented boyish grin. "Of course, if I were in your situation, I'd keep them a secret too!"

"Anata!" Kaasan protested, and then they were all laughing.

Except Touma, whose heart was sinking into his shoes. What was he supposed to do now? He could hardly run around the kitchen screaming "I'm gay! I'm gay! I'm gay!" And even if he did, there was no guarantee... Emi would think it was cute, Fuuko wouldn't believe it, and Hikari just wouldn't get it.

They had invaded his home. This meant war.

But they were girls...so what was he supposed to do? Flip their skirts up and make them screech? The very thought was almost enough to induce violent shudders...he wanted nothing to do with silken girl-panties! Anything without a bulge could never give him a nosebleed. He wasn't afraid of the sight, but it didn't mean he ever wanted to see it!

Although...hrm...these girls were well-bred enough that flipping up their skirts would probably make them dislike him. At least a little.

"Touma, do you want to show the ladies your room?" Kaasan interrupted the train of his desperate thoughts. "You four could work on your homework, and I could bring you a snack in a little while."

"Th-they're staying?" the words tumbled from his lips, wrenched by shock.

Kaasan looked surprised. "Aren't they?"

Touma was a well-bred Japanese boy. He could hardly blurt out that they hadn't been invited - which they hadn't. His mother had discovered them waiting around for him, and so she had invited them in. So it would be very impolite of him to countermand that invitation, even if he hadn't issued any sort of welcome in the first place.

"Well..." he hedged. "I have no idea what the girls had in mind." There, that was honest.

"We just wanted to spend time with ya!" Hikari clapped her hands, maroon eyes sparkling.

"Yes, we didn't have time to give you our obento boxes today during lunch," Fuuko added gently, emerald eyes shimmering.

"Well..." Touma rubbed his head, "I have a lot of homework, you know..."

"That's great!" Emi said eagerly. "We can help!" Her sapphire eyes twinkled.

Touma felt his will to live being sapped. This was an afternoon of sheer torture. He was quite sure a lick of homework wouldn't get accomplished.

"Then it's settled," Kaasan said, putting the last nail in his coffin.

Should he flip their skirts up now, or later?

***

Rubbing his head wearily, Touma placed his trip permission form on the desk with all the others, threading his way past fellow classmates to collapse at his desk. What a night it had been.

He couldn't stand girls, and now he was surrounded by a bevy of them. How many girls did it take to make up a coven? Maa! Didn't matter; felt like he had that many already. The night before the school trip that everyone had been looking forward to - Touma especially, because it meant an opportunity to slip quietly away from his pursuers - he'd been beset by a chattering, flirting, simpering trio thinly disguised as a 'study group.'

"Study group, my ass," Touma muttered. There hadn't been a whole lot of studying going on. Even Fuuko, the most serious of them all, had blushed every time she looked his way, and found excuses to touch her long slim fingers to his. It had been enough to drive a poor gay boy nuts!

To add to his vexation, since the school trip was today, they had to be in class earlier than usual. For Touma, this spelled less sleep than usual, because Kaasan had invited the terrible trio to dinner, and like the politely-bred young ladies that they were, they had accepted instantly! Touma could feel his teeth grinding. If a boy's own mother wasn't on his side, who could he count on? Who!?

"Oi, Touma, I heard you had a party over at your place last night," Jounouchi's jeering voice reached him.

Slowly, Touma turned around. "Why, yes, I did have people over last night, Jounouchi," he replied, perfectly calm. "But it just wasn't complete without *you.*" He fluttered his lashes and advanced on the sandy-haired boy.

"O-oi!" Jounouchi scrambled to the side and put a desk between them. "What're you doing?"

"Expressing my well-earned admiration," Touma sang from between clenched teeth. Jounouchi couldn't possibly make things worse for him with the girls than they already were. So he might as well just make a blatant ploy! At the very least, it would unsettle Jounouchi even if he didn't actually succeed.

"You can't do that!" Jounouchi declared.

"Oh? Why not?"

"We're in the middle of the classroom!" Jounouchi yelled, as Touma sidled around the desk, making himself look harmless and innocent.

"Jounouchi-kun!" Sensei Tanaka snapped. "Sit down immediately. And you'll have detention after school for that unseemly outburst."

Jounouchi froze. Then, glaring at Touma, he obeyed the sensei. His dark eyes told Touma plainer than words, 'I'm going to get you.'

Touma smirked. No, no...he was past fear now. Too many girls had made him numb. He'd do whatever he had to, now, to get past them and into Jounouchi's pants. As he sat down, he realized he'd completely given up on Yuugi. Jounouchi was just so much more fun! And since he'd been thwarting Touma since day one, revenge would be sweetest served hot and struggling.

"All right, class," Tanaka-sensei said, pushing up his glasses with a short sigh that told volumes of his suffering. His class was the most rambunctious of the grade - mostly due to Honda and Jounouchi. "You all know that today is our field trip to Funco-Land. Tickets have been generously provided by the school sponsor, the Ookami Group, who has just formed a merger with the Mitsubishi Corporation, who funded Funco-Land."

"I didn't know that," Jounouchi murmured in aside to Yuugi.

"Don't you know anything?" Anzu snapped behind him. "Read a paper sometime!"

"No, I meant, I didn't know the Ookami group was the school sponsor."

Even Sensei facevaulted at that.

"We'll be leaving by bus at seven-thirty sharp," the man gave Jounouchi a particularly warning look, "and once we get to Funco-Land, we'll split into groups. We will meet for lunch as a class at noon, then for another break at four-thirty so I can make sure you're all still alive, and then we'll be meeting for the fireworks at eight. After a short dinner, we'll go home." During the whole speech Sensei managed to look stern.

Three pairs of scintillating eyes had turned in Touma's direction. "Gee, I wonder who wants to be in my group," he muttered.

"I will, Touma-kun!"

"Atashi mo!"

"And I, too!"

"It wasn't an invitation!" he groaned, slumping over his desk. Hmm, since Sensei hadn't put a limit on group size, he would ditch the cows once they were past the front gate and hitch up with Yuugi's group. Or even if they tagged along, at least he'd have Jounouchi to tease.

"Touma-kun, I packed a bento box for you!" This from Emi, who actually did make delicious bento boxes.

Touma grinned. Perhaps they had their uses, after all.

On the bus, he managed to wedge himself into the seat next to Sensei, who gave him an odd look but let it slide. With disappointed looks and noises, Emi, Hikari, and Fuuko could only settle five rows away in the crush. Touma gave Sensei a distracted smile and watched Yuugi and his group trundle to the back of the bus. Under any other circumstances, he might be making a play for Sensei, too, who was a rather handsome man. However, he had enough on his plate right now. He had to survive the female attentions long enough to plot evil things revolving around Jounouchi-kun.

Shortly, the gates of Funco-Land rose up before them. The bus was filled with the murmur of excited Japanese students. Hikari was starting to bounce in her seat. "This is better than a visit to Tokyo Tower!"

Touma thought about all the potential situations for getting Jounouchi into a compromising position, and agreed.

They piled off the bus en masse and streamed towards the gate. Since Sensei had already given them the tickets, everyone was set. Touma glanced back briefly and snickered when he saw how relieved Tanaka-sensei looked - like a man who had been given a temporary vacation from responsibility!

"I want to see the Fun-House, first!" Anzu was saying as Touma drifted towards their group, looking aimless.

"Baka!" Jounouchi sputtered. "After last time?"

Anzu blushed, while Honda chortled, "Why not the roller-coaster, Jounouchi?"

"No!" Jounouchi turned green. "I can't stand those things! I'd puke all over you, Honda!"

"Er...maybe not, then."

Once they were past the gates, Touma darted into the nearest building, the "Maze of Mirrors," with his terrible trio in hot pursuit. He threaded through the labyrinth of glass quickly, and the place soon echoed with squeaks of "Touma!" "Touma-kun!" "Kiryuu-san!" Touma shuddered and made good his escape. Mazes were no problem to him and so he lost the three girls, emerging from the "Maze of Mirrors" with enough time to catch up to Yuugi's group.

"Come on, Jounouchi!" Yuugi was urging, as they headed for the line for the Black Serpent, one of the milder park roller-coasters. "Maybe last time it was just because of Kaiba's Death-T! You should give it another try!"

"YA-desu!" Jounouchi folded his arms.

"Well," Yuugi shrugged, "wait here for us, okay?" And they trooped off towards the line. Jounouchi settled on a nearby bench, looking perfectly happy to be left behind. Touma swooped down.

"So, your cohorts have left you behind," Touma purred into his ear, slipping onto the seat beside him.

"YEARGH!" Jounouchi leapt into the air. "Don't DO that!" He rubbed feverishly at his ear, glaring at Touma. "That's so gross!"

"Oh, like you never stick your tongue into Yuugi's ear," Touma said scornfully. "And I didn't even go that far!"

"Far enough!" Jounouchi held up his hand, palm out. "Don't come any closer, gay boy!"

Touma sniggered. "And just what do you think *you* are?"

Jounouchi looked suddenly uncomfortable. "Uh...I'm not...I just... Yuugi and I are just really good friends!"

"Really good friends don't stick their co-"

"DAMARE!" Jounouchi bellowed, surprising even himself with that one. "I think I'll go on that roller-coaster after all..." He took off at a fast jog.

Touma snickered again, and followed. This should be fun.

He caught up to Yuugi's group at the line for the roller-coaster, just as they were boarding. Touma leaped into the seat next to Jounouchi, who already had the frame locked in place over his chest.

"Gomen, Yuugi!" Touma waved at the smaller boy. "You can sit with Anzu!"

A flush spread over Yuugi's petite features. "A-aa!"

Jounouchi glared at Touma with mute loathing. "I'm going to get you for this."

"If you survive this," Touma grinned back sweetly.

The roller-coaster lurched into motion and Jounouchi's expression turned panicked.

"Maa, don't worry, Jounouchi!" Touma said blithely. "If it'll make you feel better, you can hold my hand!"

"I'd rather die," Jounouchi gritted. The coaster clanked towards the summit and the boy turned progressively more green. "I *am* going to die..."

The coaster reached the top and just as it began its descent, Touma's hand found its way to Jounouchi's thigh.

"AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!"

Jounouchi screamed all the way down. The pitch was frantic and had nothing to do with his fear of roller-coasters. He set up another howl as they went around a series of loop-de-loops...this time, because Touma's hand had reached the juncture of his legs. When the roller-coaster finally reached a stop, Jounouchi was panting and trembling and shrinking away from Touma in his seat.

The safety bars popped up and Touma's hands were clasped chastely in his own lap. He gave Jounouchi an innocent look. "You really don't like roller-coasters, do you?"

"I don't remember a single minute of it," Jounouchi slumped down in his seat, wild-eyed. Once Touma was out of his seat and away from him, the sandy-haired teen sprang out of his seat and leapt over to Yuugi, bodily placing the smaller boy between himself and his nemesis.

"Jounouchi, you sounded like you were having more fun than usual," Yuugi remarked with a smile.

"I thought I was going to die," the boy vowed. "Can we go do something tame, like the Hedge-Maze? Or maybe the one where the floor drops out? How about the Monster House? Better yet...the Funco-Land Arcade!"

"Yeah, the Arcade!" Yuugi put in, eyes shining.

"I think I'll join you," Touma said with a smile, hands in his pockets.

Anzu's eyes fell on Touma. She blinked. "Yes, join us!" she said enthusiastically. Then she sidled towards him.

Oh, no. Not another one.

Roller-coasters were a wonderful thing, he mused as they began to walk away. He couldn't believe a tough guy like Jounouchi was afraid of a little twister like the Black Serpent but hey! he'd gotten in a couple of good gropes, so who was he to complain?

Yuugi's face had lit up at the mention of arcades, and from Jounouchi's pallor, it was obvious he'd like to be staying on the ground. They were inexorably headed for the Arcade of the amusement park. As long as they stayed away from simpering fan-girls he'd be happy. Not yet having put his skirt-flipping ploy into effect, Touma was helpless against a direct assault. Ack - military terms. But since he'd been immersed repeatedly in their presence, he was beginning to get desensitized. Eek - psychology terms.

Fortunately, Anzu probably wasn't in the simpering fan-girl league just yet.

"Wai! Will someone win a kawaii stuffed toy for Miho-chan?" the blue-haired girl clapped her hands together.

"I'll do it, Miho-chan!" Honda declared. "I possess the valor and know-how to win a prize from those tricky games!"

Touma joined Jounouchi in a simultaneous eye-roll at that.

The flashing lights and fast-paced games were just the ticket to get the blood racing. Touma watched Yuugi play, impressed with the kid's skill levels. This was one arena he was very, very good at. He leaned over Yuugi's chair during a racing game, exclaiming his awe and suppressing a wicked grin at the flash of jealousy and anger in Jounouchi's eyes. It had been open warfare from the start, but this was where Touma would make his all-out assault.

All-out was certainly the term! He snickered to himself, draped over Yuugi's chair, all but touching the boy. Imagine, Jounouchi identifying himself as not gay when he was so obviously giving it to Yuugi! Touma didn't understand that peculiar form of denial.

"I won again!" Yuugi exclaimed in satisfaction as "WINNER" flashed across the screen in neon lights.

"Good job," Touma grinned, leaning over the game chair and dropping a hand to Yuugi's shoulder. As he did so, he lifted his eyes to meet Jounouchi's dire stare.

"I'm going to get a juice," Jounouchi said abruptly, turning on his heel as the next round of the game started.

"Okay," Yuugi replied absently, barely lifting his eyes from the screen. Miho and Honda had drifted over to the games with stuffed toys for prizes, and Anzu had gotten sucked into a dance game, so Yuugi and Touma were the only ones to tell.

"Don't be long," Touma gave him a particularly wicked grin, waggling his fingers.

Jounouchi was already retreating.

"Nice score," Touma bent over to compliment Yuugi, fingers brushing the boy's shoulder.

"Un," Yuugi said, attention to his game unwavering.

Touma wrinkled his nose. There was no fun to be had here...so he'd just have to go to Jounouchi, his primary prey! He murmured something to Yuugi, who nodded distractedly, and turned to follow Jounouchi. The juice vending machines were in a sheltered cul-de-sac, empty right now except for his sandy-haired classmate. Touma grinned and sallied forth.

Before Jounouchi realized what was happening to him, Touma TWINED.

"So, I see you want to give the two of us some...time alone," Touma breathed into the nearest ear in seductive tones, tugging on the lobe with his teeth.

Jounouchi started violently, but Touma already had a good grip. He hooked a leg over Jounouchi's, giving him the leverage to fuse their bodies but good. "Temee!" Jounouchi shouted. "What the hell do you think you're doing??" Juice fell from his hands and rolled over the floor.

"Oh, come on," Touma purred, switching to the other side and licking that lobe. "If you don't know, you're wasting both of our time."

Jounouchi froze. "S-stop," he said hoarsely.

"Oh, come on," Touma breathed, trailing one hand down Jounouchi's torso, the other locked firmly around his waist. "You really want me to stop before we get to the good part?" His hand trailed along the waistband of Jounouchi's jeans, pushing aside shirt and tracing little circles over the bare skin.

"Unn..." Jounouchi sagged in his arms as male libido kicked in.

Touma smirked and nuzzled his neck. The more they resisted, the harder they got. And from Jounouchi's responses, he guessed the boy had never been subjected to such a determined assault before.

"Touma-kun?"

"Wai! Touma! We finally found you!"

A full-body shudder crawled up his skin. Slowly, Touma peeled himself away from Jounouchi's tempting body, which had been just now starting to respond. He turned his head.

Hikari beamed at him, bouncing on her toes. "Were you two wrestling?"

Emi was hiding a snicker behind one pale slender hand. Her sapphire eyes were torn between horror and mirth. "Getting a little friendly with Jounouchi-kun, aren't you, Touma-kun?"

Jounouchi shook off Touma's arm and gave him a shove. He glared at him stormily, not saying a word.

"Yeh..." Touma puffed weakly. "Wrestling, that's it."

"Come on, I want to win one of those stuffed toys!" Hikari bounced, then trotted off towards the games and flashing lights.

Emi giggled, then followed. "Will you get me a stuffed toy, Touma-kun?" Her eyes were limpid.

Touma groaned. He supposed that meant if he didn't, she would blackmail him.

Jounouchi gave him a final vicious glare and stooped to pick up his juice.

Almost as an afterthought, Touma goosed him then followed the girls.

"KORA!" Jounouchi yelped, smacking at his hand, but Touma had already retreated, laughing his ass off. Jounouchi stared after him with eyes that were still slightly frantic, then clutched his juice and went in search of Yuugi. If he could pry the boy away from his games, he was in desperate need of a makeout session.

Putting a basketball through the dinky arcade hoop was no problem - not even putting five balls through the hoop in quick succession. Touma squinted at the white rim and tossed the last one, making a perfect basket, wincing as Emi launched herself at him with a squeal.

"Perfect!" she cheered, lips hovering dangerously near his face.

"Ah, domo!" With a well-placed elbow he disengaged her without damaging anything. She pouted and picked out a stuffed animal that looked like a blue dragon.

Hikari was grinning, clutching her absurd white stuffed animal, a creature that looked somewhat like a rabbit with big, floppy ears that was in the process of melting into marshmallow. The crowning girliness was the red gem that studded its forehead. Why did girls like stuffed animals?

"We should get one for Fuuko, too," Emi said thoughtfully, cuddling her blue dragon. Her big blue eyes sparkled at him. "She'll be sorry she missed seeing how friendly you've become with Jounouchi!"

Touma groaned inwardly. This one was just smart enough to blackmail him and not even care about his sexuality as she pressed her advantage.

"Where is Fuuko?" he inquired, not out of any genuine concern but a sort of hopefulness that she wouldn't show up.

"She bumped into a student from another school named Ferio, and they went to have ice cream together," Hikari said brightly.

"I hope they have a good time," Touma said sincerely. As long as it kept the girl far, far away from him...

"Touma-kun, look!" Emi exclaimed, catching his arm and jerking him nearly 180 degrees around. "The Tunnel of Love!"

Touma's eyes bulged when he caught sight of the artfully-styled confection of pink rocks that was the beginning of the ride. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I want to go, Touma!" Hikari caught at his other arm almost shyly, glancing up at him sidewise. "Will you go with me?"

"Touma-kun's taking me!" Emi insisted, jerking him off-balance. He reeled. Hikari pulled him in the other direction and it almost turned into a vicious game of tug-of-war with Touma in the middle, the two girls spark-glaring for all they were worth.

"Wait!" Hikari said, not slackening an inch. "We can both go with him."

Emi glared at Hikari. "Brilliant idea, Hikari...the idea is to go in pairs, you know."

"It's only fair," Hikari said stubbornly. "Unless you'll let me go with Touma, then you can go?"

Emi turned bright red. "NO WAY!"

"Then we both go with him," Hikari concluded.

Touma raised his tousled head. "Don't I have a say here?" he demanded, vainly struggling to get free. He would solve the problem, of course, by saying that *neither* girl would be going with him on the ride; he'd be going with Jounouchi.

"No!" both girls informed him in no uncertain terms.

He sagged between them as they began to drag him off in the direction of the Tunnel of Love. His eyes bulged in horror but there was nothing he could do. No escape, no exit.

The crowning indignity of it all was when Jounouchi and a strangely confident-looking Yuugi entered the Tunnel ahead of them, obviously headed into serious Makeout-Land.

Darkness closed in on them. Soft girl-flesh pressed against him on either side. He could feel breath gusting over his cheeks from parted lips. They were going to kiss him, both of them. Touma broke.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

He screamed the whole ride through.

***

"After a day like this, nothing could faze me," Touma said wearily, kicking off his shoes in the genkan and lining them up neatly in their cubbyhole. He was positive he still had lip-gloss on his cheeks, as furiously as he'd scrubbed. He could still *feel* it. Ick.

Kaasan and Oyaji were sitting at the table wearing very serious expressions when he shuffled into the kitchen, hoping only to grab a snack before diving into his load of homework. He blinked at them absently while raiding the refridgerator then set down his bowl of food and stared at them.

"What is it?" Touma asked, mind starting up from its sluggish, girl-numbed mode. Had someone tattled on him? Had a school counselor called? Eek - had Jounouchi's parent or parents called? Would they look this serious if they'd found out their boy didn't chase skirts but pants?

"Touma, I'm afraid we have some bad news for you," Kaasan said gently, biting her lip.

Touma stuck his chin out. "Do your worst," he said, resigned. "I'm kinda numb so anything you have to say won't be too shocking."

Kaasan and Oyaji blinked at each other over this, but continued.

"Well, it's good news for me," Oyaji said, "but not so good for the rest of you. I know you were just beginning to form friendships and you're probably already popular in your class..."

"A little too popular," Touma mumbled ruefully.

"The thing is, Touma, we're moving again." Oyaji said it firmly, tone brooking no arguments. He was the man of the family, it was his promotion, and they had to move.

Touma stared at them incredulously.

"I know it'll be difficult," Kaasan said hastily, "but you're young and flexible..."

Touma sniggered. *Oh, you have NO idea, Kaasan...*

"...and I know you'll make friends at your new school just as quickly. You're so bright, you'll have no problems with your classes," Oyaji finished.

Touma ducked his head, bangs overshadowing his eyes. "So where are we moving?"

An apprehensive pause. "Kyoto."

Touma began to chuckle darkly.

"Touma?" Kaasan said, a touch apprehensive. "Touma, I promise we'll make it up..."

Touma threw his head back, still laughing. "YES! This is the opportunity I've been waiting for!" He flung his arms out, renewed vigor surging through his body. Far away from *those girls,* in a place that had been historically known for its culture of men loving other men...this was terrific! Granted, things weren't exactly the same in this day and age, but it was a new chance far away from the trio of doom.

Kaasan and Oyaji stared at each other. "He seems happy."

"This is going to be great," Touma chuckled, rubbing his hands together. He grabbed his food and padded out of the kitchen, already thinking of all the places he wanted to see, and the type of guy he wanted to do...

"Wait..." he planted his feet firmly, a horrible scenario flashing before his eyes. What if the whole thing repeated itself? He nodded to himself.

This time, he'd go directly for Sensei.

The doorbell rang.

"Touma!"

"Touma-kun!"

"You had such a good time on the ride, you left your wallet behind!"

"Can we come in and give it to you?"

"YADDESU!" Touma yelped and scrambled up the stairs, to safety. He could only hope they wouldn't be as tenacious as he thought and contemplate following him to Kyoto... He'd suffered enough, hadn't he?

Hadn't he?

~owari~

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