**SPOILERS: MAJOR spoilers for the end of the Kyoto arc of the anime series, as well as Megumi's story. (Not sure which eps.)

**All standard disclaimers apply

Aoshi settled himself a little more comfortably on the hard floor of the temple, and stretched to relieve his aching back. Such things should have gone unnoticed, and his body's discomfort was a sure sign of his wandering mind. Also intruding were his realization of the lateness of the hour, and the knowledge that he should have returned to the Aoiya long ago. Trying to ignore the heat of the summer night, he sighed before again focusing his thoughts on the higher plane, sinking deep into his meditation. Or at least trying to do so... Once again the more mundane matters of the world around him intruded. Giving up all pretense of meditation, he sat and simply recounted the events that had been so much on his mind lately.

It had been nearly three months since he had returned to Kyoto. Three months since Himura had defeated Shishio, and himself, in the final battle which had broken him in spirit, and very nearly in body as well. Three months since he had started trying to put himself back together, to find a place for himself in the world. Although in truth he knew that he could not consider himself part of the world again... not yet. Not until he had removed himself from this temple, and gone back to face the reality that had become so confusing to him.

And then there was his secret grief. The pain that lived quietly inside him... the pain that he could never share, never reveal to anyone. The sense of something lost that had never truly been known. Misao thought she knew what was wrong with him, and attempted on an almost daily basis to help him heal. He knew she loved him, but this darkest secret he could not even share with her. There was no living soul that was privy to these feelings... these emotions... No living soul... And therein lay the problem. There had been only one person who truly understood him, who had accepted all his faults and strengths... and that person was dead.

It had begun almost a year ago, when he had taken the job with Kanryuu, the opium making arms dealer. At that time Aoshi wasn't too particular about who he and his men served, as long as they were well paid. The five of them had ideals they wanted to chase after, but pursuing your aspirations sometimes required cold hard cash, and Kanryuu paid generously. Even taking into account that fact, Aoshi was never completely comfortable in his service to the crime lord, even when he thought him only a drug dealer. But once the Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu gave his word, and promised the service of himself and his men, only death or mutual agreement could release him from his contract. So he served, and he served well... but he didn't have to like it.

In reflection he supposed that it had only been a matter of time before they met. And although it was a meeting Aoshi would rather have avoided, given the circumstances, he had no idea at the time of the impact it would have on his life. And he certainly never imagined that he would find himself a year later, mourning the loss of someone he had known chiefly by reputation alone.

He liked to believe that if Saitou Hajime hadn't caught him by surprise, he would never have gotten the upper hand. But that supposition held an admission of failure all it's on. No one should *ever* catch an onmitsu of his caliber by surprise in any way. But Mibu's Wolf had done so, and by the time Aoshi awoke to find himself held by the enigmatic policeman, he was already too intrigued to simply walk away.

To his surprise, once he had given his word not to attempt escape, he had been unbound and offered food, drink, and civilized conversation, instead of the tortured questioning he had been expecting. Saitou had pushed him to betray Kanryuu... but not too hard. It was if he had known that Aoshi would not, could not put himself in that position... almost as if he had some other plan in mind for Kanryuu, and that this meeting had another purpose entirely. Aoshi was confused by the attitude of the former Shinshengumi captain, but he thought he hid it rather well behind his usual show of stoicism. All the same, he had the feeling that Saitou was in some way amused by him... amused by his confusion, and the apprehension that no average man could have perceived.

At one point during the long night, Saitou had approached Aoshi rather closely, and reaching out, had run one slender gloved finger down the side of his face. Aoshi had frozen at the touch, the thought he had been voicing perishing unfinished from his brain and his mouth. Saitou had simply smiled at him openly, and turned away, leaving his mind and body a tumultuous riot of emotions. The room was silent for a moment as Aoshi tried to deny the desire that the single caress had aroused in him. He was not a callow youth, but a man of experience, and he was amazed that another could provoke such a reaction in him with a single caress.

Then Saitou spoke of some other matter, and the moment was lost. But not forgotten... never forgotten. He had left Saitou just before dawn, and had been somewhat surprised when the Wolf had simply let him go... simply let him walk away after going to such effort to bring them together. He wondered where things would have lead if it had not been for Himura's intervention.

Sitting there in the darkness, with only the light of a single candle to brighten the room, Aoshi remembered that touch, and the memory caressed his mind as a lover would have touched his body. He felt his skin raise in tiny bumps of pure sensation as the desire returned, unexpected and unwelcome. Giving a single sharp exhalation at the feeling, he absently rubbed his hands over his arms, as if to dispel a chill. A stray breeze wandered in through the open window, and he tilted his face into it, scenting the wind like an animal in the night. As the gust fluttered through his silken hair, he arched his head back, allowing the coolness to slide across his exposed throat. The flickering candle danced madly in the gust, and the moonlight flooded the room, turning Aoshi's pale face into a carving of alabaster perfection.

Suddenly his senses rang with alarm. He was no longer alone in the night. Hiding his knowledge of the other's presence, he remained motionless in his pose, ignoring the breeze and the moonlight as it played over his body. As was his way, he waited silently for the other person to make the first move. He didn't have to wait long, but the voice that broke the silence was one he had thought never to hear again. The voice of a dead man...

"They told me I would find you here. You look like hell."

Not exactly the first words Aoshi would have expected to hear from Saitou Hajime's mouth. He simply sat and looked up, as the tall slim form slowly emerged from the darkness. Like the wolf who was his namesake, Saitou's gleaming eyes were the first things to become visible. Aoshi sat mesmerized as the twin reflections of the candle's flame came closer and closer to him.

As Saitou stood in front of him, Aoshi leaned back, and braced himself on a hand thrust behind him. Saitou waited for a moment, and then slipped off his gloves, and tucked them into his belt. Reaching down, he repeated the caress of nearly a year ago, sliding a single fingertip down the side of Aoshi's face. His eyes narrowed and his lips curled at the betraying shiver that coursed through the younger man's body. Aoshi sat motionless, unable to move, unable to think, unable to do anything but feel.

For a moment, silence reigned supreme.... a silence filled with enough tension to quicken the beating of Aoshi's heart. He felt Saitou's eyes on him as if his gaze were accompanied by his hands. He tried to find some words to say... "Why are you here?" or "How did you escape alive?" But the words refused to form themselves into tidy sentences, and Aoshi refused to babble before this man. Before this man, above all others, he would cling tightly to his appearance of emotionless resolve. Just when the silence stretched to the screaming point, Saitou broke it.

"I believe we have some unfinished business... Shinomori Aoshi."

His tone was pure insinuation, and Aoshi didn't waste time pretending that he misunderstood. In a sudden flash of irritation he gracefully stood up. Saitou stood his ground, causing Aoshi's body to slide against his as he gained his feet. Quickly taking a step back, Aoshi spoke for the first time.

"You should not have come here. You've made a mistake."

"Have I?" was the soft reply. The Wolf matched Aoshi's step back, again bringing them so close that their clothing was brushing together at the movement of their breathing. "I don't think so," he whispered.

Fighting his own desire, Aoshi started to turn away, only to have his arm seized in an iron hard grip. He could have broken away... he was sure of it. He could have gained his release, if he had wanted it badly enough. Instead he simply stood, and tried to mask his capitulation with a look of icy disdain. Saitou's sneering smile was an indication of how badly he had failed. He let himself be turned to face his pursuer, for he was indeed being hunted. As Saitou's free hand rose to once again caress his face, he closed his eyes... only for a moment, to savor the sensation.

Wrenching himself back to reality, he jerked his face away from Saitou's hand, and pulled ineffectually against the grip on his arm. He might just as well have tried to pull away from the grip of a statue. Torn between embarrassment and desire, he couldn't decide whether to make a serious effort at escape, or to simply give in to the clamoring desires of his body. He didn't have long to consider his decision.

"Hmpf. If you're going to pretend to struggle, Shinomori, you could at least make a more convincing show of it."

Stung by Saitou's words, he turned his face back to his tormentor. And as easily as that, he was caught. Saitou's hand fisted in his hair, and his mouth had fastened over Aoshi's before he had time to think or react. For an instant Aoshi accepted the embrace, before forcing himself to break away yet again. Making an earnest effort this time, he removed his arm from Saitou's grasp, and took a few steps away. His hand rose, as if to wipe across his mouth, but instead his fingers merely brushed across his lips before dropping back to his side.

Looking at Saitou from underneath the fringe of his bangs, he asked the older man, "Why are you doing this?"

"I am doing this because it's what I want. I could have taken you that night in Tokyo, but I knew the time was not yet right. The time has now come. Are you man enough to acknowledge it? Are you candid enough to admit to me, and to yourself as well, that it is what you want? I know you, Shinomori Aoshi, perhaps better than anyone, and I know that this is true. So make your decision... and make it now."

Aoshi stared at the man... acknowledged the truth of his words, and admitted to himself that Saitou had seen through him. A galling admission for the Okashira to make, but Aoshi had decided not to deceive himself any longer. He *did* want this man. Instinctively he knew that Saitou knew about him... knew everything about him... every act, good or bad was open to this man who made it his business to know such things.

His entire life he had been taught to put aside his own wants and needs, and focus only on the requirements of the clan. This man's supposed death would have been nothing but a boon to the Oniwabanshuu, but still Aoshi had sorrowed over it.. That was enough to tell him... to prove to him that the ways of the past were over, and it was time for him to be a person in his own right, and not simply a figurehead, or a leader.

Almost unconsciously he took a step toward Saitou. When he realized what he had done, he took another. Saitou, canny in his assessment that this needed to be Aoshi's decision, simply stood and awaited his approach. Soon, Aoshi stood before him, perhaps not with a great show of emotion, but certainly with no lingering hesitation either. Aoshi reached out and touched Saitou willingly for the first time, sliding a palm from collar bone to waist, along the smooth fabric of his uniform. Still, Saitou stood, waiting... letting him lead, letting him make the decisions.

Aoshi slowly lifted his hands, and framed Saitou's face between them. He lightly fitted his body again the Wolf's slender from, and leaned forward to touch his lips to Saitou's mouth. Aoshi shuddered at the gentle touch of their lips, and was staggered by the strength of the desire that flooded him. Finding this much emotion unsettling, he began to draw away, and found the decision no longer his.

Saitou's strong arms enfolded him, dispelling any hope of escape. This time it was the older man who commanded, who controlled... And as his mouth was plundered by Saitou's tongue, Aoshi realized that he would not only accept this, but that he needed it. He needed someone else to be in charge for a little while. And that was his last coherent thought for quite some time, as Saitou led him deeper into the realm of sensuality.

He embraced his newly admitted passion with a fevor that might have startled him, had he been willing to stop and think about it. His tongue dueled with Saitou's, each seeking the mastery to which they were both accustomed. But there could be only one master here, and soon Aoshi was gasping with delight as Saitou's hands slid underneath his clothing, pushing it aside, and to the floor. His upper body bare, Aoshi quickly followed the path of his clothing, and in but a moment he was stretched supine, open and exposed to Saitou's assessing gaze. Although he had never even admitted it to himself, Aoshi was self-conscious about the number of scars that marked his chest and shoulders, and almost involuntarily, his hands rose to cover the worst of them.

Saitou's eyes narrowed at the gesture, but he said nothing. Instead he simply watched the younger man, playing out the tension between them as he began to unbutton the jacket of his uniform. Laying it aside, along with his black shirt, his hands then moved to his belt. He unbuckled the thin strip of leather, removed his katana from it, and laid it with his shirt and jacket in a tidy pile. Kicking off his shoes, and undoing the first two buttons on his Western style trousers, he sank to his knees beside Aoshi's still body.

With deceptive casualness, he pushed aside Aoshi's shielding hands, and laid his own palm flat on the muscles of the younger man's stomach. The smallest of smiles graced his face at the feel of the quivering of the muscles there. Rotating his hand against Aoshi's skin, he pointed his fingers downward, and slid them deftly under the waistband of his pants. He stopped with only the very tips of his fingers resting against the smooth skin of Aoshi's hardened sex. Aoshi gasped at the sensation, and his shoulders lifted from the floor, as he tried to roll away from the questing hand. Quickly Saitou pinned him back down, straddling his waist and very carefully grinding himself against Aoshi's groin.

Looking down at the again quiescent Aoshi, Saitou watched as the emotionless mask the ninja leader usually wore slid back across his pale face. Saitou grinned as he silently accepted that challenge. Seeing that Aoshi was determined to maintain his usual control over his emotions, Saitou set out to take the younger man apart, piece by piece, and break that famous control, while bringing them both the pleasure that they craved.

He fell forward, catching his weight on his hands, and lingeringly rubbed his chest against Aoshi's. His long bangs fell forward, and brushed against Aoshi's face as he lowered his mouth to begin the final seduction. As he pressed his chest against that of the man below him, Saitou was pleased to note that the pounding of Aoshi's heart belied his calm facade. As his tongue slipped back into Aoshi's mouth, Saitou was delighted to feel warm hands finding their way to his thighs, to grip tightly at the muscles there. Smiling inwardly at Aoshi's discrete struggle for restraint, Saitou's mouth moved down, to bite gently at the lobe of his ear. Aoshi's shaky breathing only served to enhance his own excitement.

Moving down to his chest, Saitou's tongue darted out to flick against Aoshi's nipples. Aoshi's grip on Saitou's thighs tightened as the sensations raced through his body. When Saitou's mouth closed around the puckered nub, sucking it up into his mouth, Aoshi's masquerade of calm suffered it's first major crack, as he gasped at the stimulation. But as Saitou lifted his head to gaze once more on his body, his discomfort returned and his hands again sought to shield himself from the Wolf's gaze.

With an almost irritated gesture, Saitou grasped Aoshi's wrists, and pinned them to the floor on either side of his body. Carefully sliding down Aoshi's muscular form, he positioned his face over Aoshi's chest and began to trace each scar with the tip of his tongue. Aoshi was stunned at the gesture, as Saitou made him realize without words that he did not find the scars repelling, but merely a part of who he was.

Soon the reason for the exploration of Saitou's mouth was forgotten, and when he released Aoshi's hands, they rose to rest caressingly on his shoulders. As Saitou's mouth moved lower on the flat plane of Aoshi's stomach, he felt his muscles clench and quiver. As a questing tongue teased his navel, his fingers laced through Saitou's hair, and it was all he could do not to groan aloud.

His hands joined Saitou's, as together they slid Aoshi's pants from his slim hips, leaving him naked in so many more ways than one. Saitou sat back on his heels, and they stared at each other, each breathing heavily. A sudden gust of wind through the room teased their bodies in the heat of the summer night. and as Aoshi watched, Saitou's sweat-dampened body reacted to the cooling breeze with a tiny shiver. His breath caught in his throat, and without even thinking about it, his hands rose to unfasten the last buttons on Saitou's trousers, and slide the last of his clothing down across his hips to pool at his knees. Saitou shifted to a seated position to remove his pants, and Aoshi took advantage of the situation, rising to loom over him.

Saitou allowed Aoshi to push him back and he stretched himself sensuously on the hard wooden floor. Aoshi's heart seemed to skip a beat at the purely arousing movement of the older man's body. Then he began to return the caresses Saitou had bestowed on his body only moments before. As he made his way down the hard muscled form, he soon found himself face to face with the evidence of Saitou's recent fight with Shishio. The twin scars were still red and ugly across the tops of Saitou's thighs, and suddenly Aoshi understood the Wolf's reaction to his own scars. With a gesture that was in homage to the man's courage, Aoshi kissed a gentle caress against each flaw in the otherwise unblemished skin. Raising his eyes to meet Saitou's, he found a knowing smirk on the older man's face. He realized that he had just been taught a lesson, and was again amazed that Saitou would think of such a thing in the middle of this heated passion they were caught up in.

Returning his attention to Saitou's body, he focused on the center of that passion. With trembling fingers, Aoshi reach out to gently grasp Saitou's penis. He gained a bit of courage from the soft sound of enjoyment he heard. He explored the other man's sex with his hands, and then bent to run his tongue from base to tip, and back down again to swirl against Saitou's testicles. Looking up, he met Saitou's gaze again, and the Wolf gave him an encouraging nod. He positioned himself at Saitou's side, and lowered his head again to his penis.

He hesitated a moment longer, and then engulfed Saitou's penis with his mouth, curling his tongue around the sensitive tip before sliding down, to swallow up as much of the flesh as he could. He paused a moment to relax his muscles, and then slid his mouth further down, until his face was pressed against Saitou's abdomen. He was gratified to hear Saitou groaning unashamedly in pleasure at the feel of his penis buried so deeply in the back of Aoshi's throat. Keeping Saitou's sex where it was, his hand rose to cup the testicles that were already beginning to tighten. Then he started to swallow. Using the muscles in his throat to grip Saitou's sex, he let those same muscles work against it's nerve filled tip. He was only able to maintain the caress for a moment, but in that time, he was elated to hear Saitou's soft moans rise into a more audible sound of pleasure.

Rising to a more comfortable posture, he swirled his tongue around the fully sensitized head of the older man's penis, and following the thrusting motions of Saitou's hips, Aoshi began a steady rhythm of strokes. He labored over Saitou's manhood until his jaws were aching and sweat was dripping from his body. But although the Wolf was not shy in his enjoyment of the act, he refused to allow himself to slip over the edge into ecstasy.

Finally Aoshi jerked his mouth away from the other man, and asked, "What do you *want*?"

Saitou's smile was nothing short of wicked as he slid his hand down Aoshi's back to cup his buttocks. As his fingers probed suggestively, he replied to Aoshi's question.

"You know *exactly* what I want, Shinomori. From your talent at this game, I would say that you are no stranger to its rules. It's far too late to play the innocent virgin with me at this point. Now... are you prepared to give me what I want?"

For a moment Aoshi stared at the man, looking so relaxed as he reclined on the floor. Hate and desire, fear and lust, anger and acceptance all warred within him, deluging him in conflicting emotions. Saitou's smile widened as he watched the indecision flare across Aoshi's face. It was the smile that did it... that condescending smirk...

"No." He said it quietly, almost in defeat. He knew he could not...

And in a move too quick to be countered, he was flat on his back on the floor, with Saitou pressed against the length of his body. The Wolf grinned evilly again, and whispered one word before he lowered his mouth to Aoshi's.

"Yes."

As the kiss ended, he tried to speak in a reasonable voice.

"Saitou, don't make this a struggle between us. We are both men not to be taken lightly, and I do not wish for this to end badly for us. Perhaps it would be better for us to part now, as new friends, instead of old enemies."

"Hmpf. This *is* a struggle, Shinomori. How could you think it was not? When two men such as ourselves come together in passion, one must be dominant, the other submissive. You know this has always been the way." He quirked an ironic eyebrow at Aoshi as he questioned, "Surely you did not envision *my* body impaled with *your* flesh? I think you have known better than that from the beginning."

The shadows in the room did not hide the guilty flush that stained Aoshi's cheeks. He sought to turn his face away from the probing eyes, but found his chin caught in strong fingers, and his gaze captured by an even more mesmerizing one. To his chagrin he was unable to voice any defense, because Saitou's words had struck at the core of truth inside him. His eyes widened as one of Saitou's legs slid between his, parting them slightly, but didn't have a chance to protest before Saitou continued.

"A struggle indeed, Aoshi.... but who is to decide who wins or loses? Perhaps this is a struggle that both of us can win, ne?"

The surprise that Saitou had just called him "Aoshi" was eclipsed by the sensation of that cleanly muscled body as it writhed skillfully against his own. He felt himself wavering... felt himself slipping into that domain where bodies ruled both hearts and minds. He wavered for a moment on the edge, and then made the conscious decision to fall.

Saitou felt Aoshi's muscles relax against his grasp, and knew that he had won. But being who he was, he had to do things his own way... and his way meant complete and total surrender from this man. Reaching between their bodies, he skillfully stroked Aoshi's aching penis, and then made his request an ultimatum.

"Tell me that you will give me what I want."

Aoshi's breathing was labored as he fought for some tiny sliver of control. Stubbornly, he clamped his lips shut, and refused to utter the words Saitou demanded to hear. Still, he remained unresisting in Saitou's embrace as he met the older man's gaze. The motion of Saitou's hand on Aoshi's penis quickened, and his thumb rubbed like liquid fire across the opening at it's tip. As his digit slid in the accumulated wetness there, he again made his demand.

"Tell me that you will give me what I need."

Still, Aoshi remained obstinately silent, the harsh rasp of his breathing his only sound. Saitou bent his head to the younger man, and slowly slide his penis inside his mouth, a tiny fraction at a time. All the while, his tongue swirled in wild stimulation around the tip of Aoshi's rigid sex. Aoshi's hips bucked at the sensation, and when Saitou made his demand the third time, he gave the only answer that he could... a sobbing "yes."

Wasting no more time, Saitou positioned himself to kneel between Aoshi's wide-spread legs. Leaning forward, braced on one hand, he pressed the forefinger of his other hand against Aoshi's lips. Realizing what he was doing, Aoshi sucked the finger deep into his mouth, and let Saitou remove it with as much moisture clinging to it as was possible. He closed his eyes as the finger insinuated itself between his buttocks, and began to stroke him there. Then his eyes flew open, and he gasped as the long slender finger was inserted into the tight passage. Saitou's eyes flew to his face, and it was his turn to nod encouragingly, giving his permission for Saitou to continue.

This time it was Saitou's middle finger that was slicked with moisture, and then carefully inserted into his body. As he convinced his muscles to relax and accept the invasion, Aoshi felt fear recede and desire become the only emotion of the moment. Suddenly he leaned forward, his mouth stretching once again for Saitou's penis. Thrusting his hips forward, Saitou allowed Aoshi to lubricate his shaft thoroughly, before falling back to lie again on the floor.

Saitou lifted and folded Aoshi's legs back against his chest, raising and tilting his body to receive him. He guided himself into position, and slowly slid the tip of his penis inside Aoshi. Aoshi whimpered, and threw his arm across his face, biting into the flesh pressed against his mouth. After a moment he realized that Saitou was perfectly still, and had called his name. Removing his arm, he lifted his gaze to the Wolf's face.

"Look at me," Saitou commanded. And Aoshi was powerless to do anything else, as he felt Saitou sliding further and further into him. His mouth was open, gasping at the sensation, and his hands were curled into fists, pressed against the floor. Saitou worked himself all the way into him once, and then slowly withdrew. The second stroke was easier, aided by Aoshi's superb muscle control, and the moisture generated by Saitou's own excitement. Soon Saitou's hips found a steady rhythm, and Aoshi was powerless to stop his own body from meeting Saitou's every stroke. Still holding his gaze, Saitou reached between them, and began to stoke Aoshi, knowing instinctively that the younger man needed this caress.

Suddenly his hands left Aoshi's body, to brace himself as his pace increased frantically. Aoshi whimpered at the rough treatment as Saitou pounded into him relentlessly. And then Saitou froze as his body found its completion, filling Aoshi with the burning liquid evidence of his pleasure. Aoshi stared at him, still hovering on the brink, waiting for the pleasure that he had been promised... and Saitou was a man of his word.

Running his hand between their bodies, he filled his palm with the hot liquid, and wrapped his fingers around Aoshi. In a caress that should have been too rough, should have been too intense, he unmercifully stimulated the head of Aoshi's penis with his palm. His other hand joined its mate, and stroked against the pulsating shaft. Unable to stand against the onslaught, Aoshi's body erupted in a pleasure greater than any he had ever known. Both men were still gasping as Saitou withdrew his softening penis and lowered Aoshi's quivering legs back to the floor.

Mibu's Wolf crawled gracefully across the floor to his clothes, and fished in his pocket for a cigarette. Lighting one, he sat with his body splayed open and at ease, letting the occasional breeze cool and dry his skin. The silence stretched out between the two men, but this time the tension was absent... purged by the act they had just completed.

After he finished smoking, Saitou dressed, and squatted by Aoshi, who was sitting with his clothing merely draped across his shoulders. He reached out and grasped Aoshi's chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting his face to the light. "So, Shinomori... who won the struggle tonight?" he asked with a smirk.

Aoshi returned his stare for a moment before gently disengaging his face from Saitou's grip. Ignoring Saitou's question, he made a calm statement that signaled his returning sanity.

"Don't ever touch me again, Saitou."

Saitou gave a short bark of laughter as he rose to his feet, and straightened his jacket with a tug. He walked away, and for a moment Aoshi thought he would leave without speaking. But he stopped at the door, and turned to deliver one last sarcastic utterance.

"I'll touch you when ever and where ever it suits me, Shinomori Aoshi. And next time I won't be so gentle."

And with those words, he vanished into the darkness, leaving Aoshi no closer to solving the multitude of problems that surrounded him. In fact, he had just added to his list of things to worry about. Saitou's parting words played themselves again in Aoshi's brain...

"Next time..."

--end--

kaf
4/23/00
2:43 PM
final
7/14/00
10:45 pm

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