Yuusuke rubbed his head, wincing in pain at the lump he discovered beneath the thick black hair. "Itai!" That hurt!

Still, the mission Koenma had set them to had come to a fairly satisfying conclusion. The team had captured the renegade band they were after, and he'd gotten to kick a little youkai butt in the process. True, he'd gotten his butt kicked first, but he'd *won*! That was the important thing!

He reached the door to his apartment before he realized Kuwabara was trailing him like a shadow. A big, lumpy, ugly shadow.

"Kuwabara, what the hell are you doing?" he queried with his usual showing of concern.

Kuwabara scowled, pushing tangled bangs out of his face and squinting at Yuusuke out of his good eye. "Aw, come on, Urameshi!" he whined. "It's eight in the morning! You know 'Kaasan'll be in the kitchen, and 'Tousan'll be on his way out the door. If I walk in the house looking like this, my ass is grass!"

Yuusuke eyed the ripped, bloodied clothing his friend was wearing, the way he was limping, the bruises making his bony face seem even more hideous than usual.

"Eh, so you look like shit; what do you want *me* to do about it?!"

"Urameshi!"

"Go climb the tree outside your window!"

Kuwabara scowled. "Last time I tried that the branch broke. I'm not trying again!"

Yuusuke laughed hysterically at the mental image that called to mind, until Kuwabara smacked his already aching head. Then his amusement ended abruptly. "Kisama!" He started for his friend with an upraised fist. But he was too tired to beat the jerk up, even though he deserved it.

"Go home, Kuwabara. You're bleeding all over our mat."

"Have a heart!" Kuwabara did his best to look pitiful. Yuusuke snorted, digging in his pocket for his key. "Come on, Urameshi. You know my folk'd skin me! But your 'Kaasan'll likely be too drunk or hungover to even notice!"

Yuusuke glared. "Watch your mouth, asshole!" He turned to fit the key in the lock. "Actually, 'Kaasan's been going out a lot less lately, and drinking a lot less. I can't hardly sneak anything past her anymore!" He shook his head as he opened the door.

"Honto ni?" Kuwabara followed him, shutting out the annoying sunlight. He sniffed. "You're right; doesn't smell as much like booze in here are usual."

"Oh, yeah, like you're such an expert!" Nonetheless, Yuusuke tested the air himself. "Hm. Funny.... Smells like cigarette smoke. 'Kaasan doesn't smoke."

"Maybe she has a boyfriend," Kuwabara suggested gleefully as they moved to the kitchen annex and stripped off their ruined shirts. "Itai!"

"A boyfriend?!" Yuusuke was outraged. "Yeah, right! She better not have picked up some sleazy bastard out of some bar!"

Kuwabara tried to soothe his fuming friend. "Naa, naa, Urameshi, maybe she's got a *real* boyfriend! You know, someone with class! After all, you said she'd stopped drinking so much...."

"Hmph." Yuusuke slouched over to the doorway while Kuwabara retrieved the first aid kit from under the sink. "Huh!" He stood there, not moving.

"Nani?" Kuwabara raised a brow, then winced in pain as he broke a nail trying to get the box open. "Shimatta!"

Yuusuke walked back over, looking thoughtful. "Well, there's two pairs of shoes there 'sides ours...."

"Men's shoes?" Kuwabara queried eagerly.

"Iie. Both women's. Give me that!" Yuusuke jerked the kit away, banging it down on the counter and snapping it open. "They both look familiar, and I'd say they were both 'Kasaan's, but...."

"But?"

"But they're different sizes."

"Eh?" Kuwabara thought that over while Yuusuke began patching himself up. "Well, maybe her feet grew."

"Baka!" Yuusuke whacked him over the head.

"Itai!"

"Oi, you two! Keep it down!"

Yuusuke and Kuwabara looked properly ashamed of themselves as Atsuko wandered into the room, yawning widely behind one hand, her long brown hair rumpled, her robe cinched tightly shut.

"Ohayo, 'Kasaan!" Yuusuke caroled.

"Don't 'ohayo' me!" Atsuko gave her son's head a heavy, loving swat.

"Itai!"

"You've been out fighting again, haven't you?"

"Iie! Iie! I was working for Koenma!"

"Hmph. One's the same as the other, isn't it?" Atsuko glared at her son a moment, then smiled sweetly at Kuwabara. "Excuse me, Kazuma-kun. Might I get at the coffee pot?"

"Aa-ah!" He jumped out of the way swiftly, always the true gentleman.

"Kazuma-kun, you bled all over the floor," Atsuko said reproachfully as she got the coffee brewing.

"Uh, gomen nasai!"

Atsuko shook her head. "Boys."

Kuwabara smiled weakly, then glared at Yuusuke, his eyes screaming, *she's your mother!*

Yuusuke just shrugged.

"Yuusuke, you were out all night!" Atsuko said, turning to confront her son once more.

Yuusuke started, then gave her a wide, insincere grin, his eyes shifting guiltily. "Aaaah, how do you know I didn't just get up real early?"

Atsuko smacked him for that one. Kuwabara snickered. Yuusuke shot him a dirty look.

"Give me credit for a little brains, Yuusuke!" Atsuko snapped. "I'd have known if you came in last night or left this morning, and you didn't do either!"

"How can you know that?" Yuusuke whined.

Atsuko suddenly, unexpectedly flushed.

"Ah-hah! So you DO have someone in your room!" Yuusuke was, once again, outraged. "It better not be some dirty, hairy, sleazy, low-life bast--"

"Do I smell coffee?" a sleepy voice spoke from the hallway. A familiar voice.

Yuusuke's jaw dropped. Kuwabara fell to the floor with a little squeak.

"Oi, Kazu, you look like shit," Shizuru said, strolling into the living room. She was wearing a big blue pajama top, little white panties, and -- very clearly -- nothing else. Her hair was as mussed as Atsuko's, her eyes heavy-lidded. "You know, 'Kasaan and 'Tousan are gonna kill you." She seemed more amused by the prospect than anything else.

"Kazuma-kun, close your mouth; that's unattractive," Atsuko instructed, stepping past her sweatdrop-beaded son. "Ohayo, Shizu-chan."

"There's a perfectly reasonable explanation... there's gotta be a perfectly reasonable explanation..." Yuusuke muttered to himself, while Kuwabara remained where he'd landed, his jaw still unhinged, eyes saucer-sized.

"Ohayo," Shizuru answered, wrapping an arm around Atsuko's waist and exchanging a very long, very much more than friendly kiss with the older woman.

Outside, as the world began to stir, a scream rang through the air. It was voiced as one, but if someone listened closely, it could be heard to have emerged from two throats.

And the sun shone down on a lovely morning.

Return to The Handbasket