The Internet Information Variant

The Internet Information Variant

Ah, here's one of the "report" variants "selling" what they call "much needed Internet information. " Auyp - they need information - shall we give it to them?

"Path: geraldo.cc.utexas.edu!cs.utexas.edu!news.sprintlink.net!news-peer.sprintlink.net!su-news-
hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!newsxfer3.itd.umich.edu!newsxfer.itd.umich.edu!uunet!in1.uu.net!165.254.2.52!news.new-york.net!news.cybernex.net!not-for-mail From: make money now Newsgroups: alt.business.misc,alt.business.multi-level,alt.butt.harp,alt.california,alt.callahans,alt.cardgame.magic,alt.cd-rom,alt.celebrities,alt.censorship,alt.child-support Subject: Show me the money Date: Mon, 03 Mar 1997 01:13:25 -0800 Organization: Cybernex Inc. Lines: 283 Message-ID: <331A9634.2DFB@NOW.COM> NNTP-Posting-Host: nj011a-230.cybernex.net Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; name="MLMTXT.TXT" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.01 (Win16; U) Content-Disposition: inline; filename="MLMTXT.TXT" Xref: geraldo.cc.utexas.edu alt.business.misc:318416 alt.business.multi-level:288421 alt.butt.harp:15065 alt.california:66186 alt.callahans:164666 alt.cardgame.magic:53746 alt.cd-rom:70112 alt.celebrities:29423 alt.censorship:157376 alt.child-support:88580
This is a new multilevel marketing program selling much needed Internet information. The big money is always made by the people who get in on the ground floor. "

It is in illegal scams, that is. In legitimate opportunities, it doesn't matter where or when you get in - you have the same opportunity as everyone else, and it all depends upon the work you put in. However, as I said, in a scam, that's different. So, I will grant you that statement for this little piece of work.

"This one is huge. It has 10 levels and you are in the beginning, right at the ground floor. With 10 levels this program is going to go on for a very long time. "

Oh. It's brand new, ground floor, but it's huge? Uhm, isn't that sort of self-contradictory?

"You should see some very nice dollars in your mail right away and maybe for the next year. "

Ah, that sounds almost like an admission that you know this thing can't last. Let me give you a clue - it won't even last "for the next year."

"This one was founded in Northern New Jersey,"

So? Can you explain the significance of that, or is it just something that sounds good (to you) to fill space?

" but is going to spread over the world. We are now at the second level with 8 more to go. You could be number 3. This is a ground floor opportunity. At number 3 you will automatically be at levels 4,5,6,7 8,9 +10. As you will see below. Your first responses will give you 8 levels of income. You get 8 levels for the price of 1. "

Sounds good. Er.... uhm... What? Don't you normally just buy into these scams once anyway, and assume all the levels below are going to pay you?

"This is NOT your usual "add me to your mailing list" con. You will receive 10 reports on subjects of interest to Internet users. You will make copies of these reports and offer them for sale as part of this program. Your cost is minimal, (copy, stamp, envelope) but you get $5.00 each, it is worth your time and effort."

No, it's your usual "Selling Information Reports" con. See the US Postal Inspectors' Service page, where it says: "Do not be fooled if the chain letter is used to sell inexpensive reports on credit, mail order sales, mailing lists, or other topics. The primary purpose is to take your money, not to sell information. 'Selling' a product does not ensure legality."

"THIS IS A SERVICE AND IS A 100% LEGAL BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY WHICH IS COVERED IN TITLE 18, SECTION 1302 AND 1342 OF THE POSTAL AND LOTTERY LAWS. "

No it's not. You don't listen/read very well, do you?

"Don't forget to pay your taxes."

All $0.47 of them for what you will receive. I'll bet that's right up top on your calendar of things to do if you do get some money, too. Right next to "clean the last 10 years of doggie-do out of the back lawn" and before "crawl down the sewer and look for leaks."

"Here is what you do."

Gosh, I can hardly wait - this oughta be so original....

"1) Send $5.00 cash for each of the 10 reports. You must buy all 10, because someday, you will get a request for all of them. Collecting the cash and not sending the reports is considered Mail fraud. "

Guess what??? So's the whole scam, so what's the big deal. One more felony, more or less, won't make your jail term that much different.

"This is a completely legal operation. You are selling a very valuable service, information"

You keep saying that - almost as if you didn't even believe it yourself, but are trying to get us to. Which is probably the exact case here.

"[This is Jake on level 2"

Hi, Jake. Nice to meet you. Howya doin', scamboy? Nice stripes on that suit. Little wide, but they set off that long number on your chest rather nicely.

", to help get you started, I will sell you all the reports 2 thru 10 for $20.00 cash"

Oh, how nice of you. Gosh, I can see that you have my best interests right at heart.

"This would normally cost you 8 X 5 or $40.00 plus postage. If you need to send a money order make it out to cash or leave it blank. I would prefer cash."

I just bet you would. Leaves less of a paper trail, too, doesn't it?

"After I receive 10 responses in my mailbox,"

And Hell has frozen over, which will be about the same time....

"I won't post this offer anymore. I will then begin posting for those few that are willing to work this program. . So, this offer is only good for the first 10 responses. ]"

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I'll bet that if, by some wild-assed miracle you found 20 morons to send you the money that you would just turn around and send 10 of them their money back. I really believe that.

"2) Go to your local post office and get a post office box. You will need ID, but you don't need to be 18. "

No, just have an IQ of 18.

"There is no need for fraud."

Certainly not! I mean, there's enough fraud just in your little scam to cover all the bases.

"This is a legitimate mail order operation."

Care to make a little wager on that??? Hmmmmm???

"Call around, smaller PO's will offer a box for $8.00 a year, but larger PO's will be $40.00 per year."

It would be smarter to rent it by the day, as it won't be lasting more than a few of them.

"3) Save this file in a word processing software. Modify this letter and include your PO Box number on levels 4,5,6,7,8,9,+10. One of the booklets is this letter modified for each of the 4-10 levels, so you don't miss any details."

Well, assuming that the people who would get involved are not smart enough to do that for themselves is probably a good idea.

"These information booklets are copyrighted."

Yeah, right. Who's the copyright holder, by the way? I'd like a name to turn over to the authorities as to who actually started this little scam. You don't know? Well, why doesn't the copyright holder put his or her name in there somewhere - that's standard procedure if you are copyrighting something - it can't be copyrighted if you don't know who the copyright holder is...

"Your permission to reprint is only allowed in the context of this program."

Ayeah, right.

" Any other use constitutes fraud. "

This whole thing constitutes fraud.

"Don't get greed and try to cut out the founding two members. One of us wrote the booklets and has the right to refuse reprint permission. "

What do those two statements have to do with each other? Or anything, for that matter?

"4) Post this letter on at least 200 newsgroups. You want to continue posting about 50-100 per week until you have 10 responses in your mail box. Then you can stop and wait for the money to roll in. When things get really going you should check your box 2 times everyday. If the box gets overloaded, the postman might send them back. But, that's a lot of money. See report number 1 to save time. You can post these 50 groups in about 5 minutes or less. There are over 20,000 newsgroups and 40 million Internet users. You only need 10 to make this work."

Standard "How To Spam And Get Your Account Cancelled" instructions.

"5) Once you have 10 responses in your mailbox. STOP POSTING. You now need to begin working with your people. We need to work as a team to make this succeed. "

You need to get a brain and then you will see that this can't succeed.

"PEOPLE MANAGEMENT: The MOST important aspect to this is to help the people directly under you. We will help you get started and you must help others. To make this work you must get at least 3 people you sponsor to follow the plan and have them get 10 each. Correspond by e-mail with your downline. Share ideas. Find the person furthest down your line and post newsgroups for that person. As you can see in the math theory section, the money you make in the beginning is small compared to the money you will make at the top levels. To get the big bucks you have to focus on the success of others. It's the only way."

The next to last sentence in that paragraph is the only one that is not absolute hogwash. That particular sentence is far truer than you will ever conceive of, being of the spam and scam ilk as is so obvious.

"IMPORTANT NOTE: Please pay attention to the newsgroups in which you post. If there is an abundance of similar letters, you may want to seek another newsgroup."

If you followed this advice, you would not find a single group to which to post it, which would be a Good Thing.

"Thus, pay respect to the harmony of the newsgroup and use common sense."

"Pay respect to the harmony of the newsgroup" by spamming it with unwanted, off-topic scams. That's a hoot. Do you rent out for parties? "Use common sense"? And what would YOU know about common sense? I haven't detected a larger-than-molecule-sized particle of common sense in you yet.

" There are plenty of newsgroups on the Internet.(I think there are close to 18,000 of them.) For added success, you can also mail this letter as well, in addition to posting in newsgroups. "

Oh, yes... add UCE to your list of offenses - that will surely engender even better will from your ISP - or do you think you are smart enough to avoid it being traced and dealt with? Have you fallen for those "flame-proof" and "stealth" mailers' phony claims?

" You should use a code name to avoid getting flamed and getting in trouble with you Internet provider. Let us know your code names, so we can chart your progress and offer suggestions."

Ah, so you admit that what you are doing is going to piss others off, and violate your ISP's Terms of Service, and so you recommend trying to remain anonymous in doing this? Let me clue you in on two details - First off... you can't hide, unless you are very, very, very clueful, which you are not. Secondly, by using a fictitious name, you violate yet another law: US Code Section 1342 also makes it an additional crime punishable up to $1,000 and 5 years in prison if the person "uses or assumes, or requests to be addressed by, any fictitious, false, or assumed title, name, or address or name other than his own proper name, or takes or receives from any post office or authorized depository of mail matter, any letter, postal card, package, or other mail matter addressed to any such fictitious, false, or assumed title, name, or address, or name other than his own proper name.

"Mathematics behind 10 levels. The number are impossible there just isn't that many people on the net, but here it goes."

Uh.... you use admittedly "impossible" mathematics to prove your point? Unless the point in question is that you are a total moron and scam artist, I don't see how that works. If that is the point, however, I will concede that you have proven it perfectly well.

"If you enter at level 4 you will make $35.00 for each one you bring in. You only need to bring in 2 two recover your costs. You want to continue posting until you have 10 responses in you mail box. Of those 10, lets say only 3 follow the plan and bring in 10.

Level 3 10 X $5.00 = $ 50.00 Level 4 3 X 10 X $5.00 = $150.00 Level 5 9 X 10 X $5.00 = $450.00 Level 6 27 X 10 X $5.00 = $1350.00 Level 7 81 X 10 X $5.00 = $4050.00 Level 8 243 X 10 X $5.00= $12,150.00 Level 9 729 X 10 X $5.00 = $36,450.00 Level 10 2187 X 10 X $5.00 = $109,350.00 You move to level 2, 6561 people bring in 10 at $5.00 = $328,000.00 You move to level 1, 19683 people bring in 10 at $5.00 = $984,000.00 TOTALS: Over 1.4 million dollars."

I'm pretty sure the moon is still made of green cheese, too.

"You are NOT going to make a millions dollars."

No kidding. You are joking, right? I really thought I was going to. Why did you get my hopes up?

"Let's be realistic."

I've been attempting to get you to do that the whole time. But then, why start now and break a perfect record?

"How much do you want to make $500? $1000? $10,000? What is your goal. "

To get you nuked as soon as possible is my goal. That and to ridicule you into submission.

"If you only got one person to work the program and did no other work to help him/her and let the downline naturally progress, you should see $500 in your mailbox. To get $10,000, you will need to assist your downline, expect to put in 3-4 hours a week. Is $10,000 worth 3-4 hours a week of your time? What is your goal?"

Yeah, right. See above for my goal. It hasn't changed.

"[This is Jake again,"

Oh, Hi, Jake. Thought [hoped] we had lost you way back upscam somewhere. See it wasn't so. Sorry to hear that.

" my goal is $100,000. I am now available for about 20 hours a week to help build your goals. When we get to 10K, I will devote my full-time effort to your success. "

You'd do pretty well at stand up comedy, Jake. Ever thought of giving it a try?

"I have a web-page, e-mail programs, broadcast fax programs and a snail mail program ready. None of this is available until we can get some cash flow. ]"

Ahhh... the "Give me results and then I will help you" theory. Kind of like telling a fire "give me heat and then I will light you," don't you think? Of course, that would only pertain if this were a real legitimate business. As it stands, no amount of "help" will get your cash flowing in this scam.

"Testimonials from other programs, ours is brand new and better:"

Whatsa matta? You even too stupid to come up with your own phony testimonials like the other guys have? You have to use their phony testimonials?

"Dear Reader, I thought this was a long shot and would be a waste of time, so I decided against participating. However, one of my friends tried it and I asked him to keep me updated of his results. About two months later he called me to tell me he had received over $800,000 in cash!! I didn't believe him, so he suggested that I try this idea and find out for myself. I thought about it for a couple of days and decided that I didn't really have anything to lose, so I asked my friend for a copy of the letter. I followed the instructions exactly, sent out 200copies, and sure enough, the money started arriving! It came slowly at first, but after 3 weeks, I was getting more mail than I could open in a day! The money stopped coming after about three months. I kept a precise record of my earnings, and they totaled $968,498.00!! [And that was from a 5 level matrix and the usual "add to mailing list" con.]"

And this, as we know, is a 10 level and usual "Selling Information Reports" scam.

"Don't forget to report this income on you taxes. It would be difficult for the IRS to audit your cash flow, but they do monitor these posting"

Like other stupid spammers, you fail to add the requisite "r" to the end of your "your"s, but we'll overlook that as part of your general stupidity. As for the taxes... right. Uh-huh. I know that's a priority for you. As for monitoring these postings, they don't have to - they get multiple copies sent to them of every one of them from irate usenet and email users whose newsgroups and email boxes you invade, so don't worry your sharp little pin-head too much about them "monitoring" these postings.
Here comes the list of useless...er, I mean "much needed" information...

"PRINT THIS PAGE, CUT AT THE DOTTED LINE. FILL OUT EACH AND MAIL.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Report #1 How to save time and effort in posting to various newsgroups.  
Which are the most profitable groups.
Send to: NJN
        PO Box 321, 
        Ledgewood, NJ 07852

Your name ______________________  Address: ________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP ___________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering: __________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Report #2. How to post newsgroups without being flamed or having your 
provider flag your account.
                
Send to: Send to: RFES
                  PO Box 322, 
                  Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849 
Your name ______________________  Address: ___________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP ____________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering: ___________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Report #3 How to buy real estate with no money down.
Send to:        RFES    
                PO Box 322, 
                Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849 

Your name ______________________  Address: ____________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP
________________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering:
_________________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 


Report #4 This document changed to reflect the new level you are on.  
Included changes for every level.  On the tenth level, we will introduce 
a new booklet. 
Send to:        RFES    
                PO Box 322, 
                Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849 

Your name ______________________  Address: ____________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP
________________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering:
_________________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Report #5 How to repair you credit file, establish new credit and 
get up to 100K in instant credit. Send to:    RFES    
                PO Box 322, 
                Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849 

Your name ______________________  Address: ____________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP
________________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering:
_________________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Report #6 How to make thousand offering a free 20 min. calling card 
and 9.8 cent per min. long distance. Make $10.00 for each one you refer. 
Send to:        RFES    
                PO Box 322, 
                Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849 

Your name ______________________  Address: ____________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP
________________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering:
_________________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Report #7 How to give away a free pager and make 10% of the monthly fee, 
every month. 
Send to:        RFES    
                PO Box 322, 
                Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849 

Your name ______________________  Address: ____________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP
________________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering:
_________________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Report #8 Other free or cheap method for distributing this program. 
As you see below, there are not enough people to fill the theoretically 
10 levels. By the 8th. level we will have plenty of money to invest 
in other methods of distribution.
Send to:        RFES    
                PO Box 322, 
                Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849 

Your name ______________________  Address: ____________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP
________________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering:
_________________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Report #9 How to save on postage. Labor saving ideas for filling envelopes.  
Hiring independent contractor to do your labor.  By level 9 you will 
make over $18,000 and need to mail 3600 documents.  You can afford to 
hire some help. 
Send to:        RFES    
                PO Box 322, 
                Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849 

Your name ______________________  Address: ____________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP
________________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering:
_________________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Report #10  Top 10 money making opportunities on the Internet.  
Each on could be worth millions.
Send to:        RFES    
                PO Box 322, 
                Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849 

Your name ______________________  Address: ____________________________________
Your E-mail _____________________ City, State ZIP
________________________________
What newsgroups did you see this offering:
_________________________________________
                Enclosed is $5.00 for my booklet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Special discount from Jake at RFES PO Box 322, Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849:

Please send me all 9 booklets 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9+10 and sign me up as your 
direct partner.   I am enclosing $20.00 instead of 8- $5.00 bills.   
I am sending $5.00 to NJN to get book #1."

Yep, I can tell that I have just never had a chance to get along on the internet without your absolutely invaluable information, all of which (valid or not) I could get with a simple trip to Yahoo, DejaNews or some other search engine. It also looks to me, from my experience canceling the scam spam in the business groups, as if almost every one of those is yet another illegal ponzi scam, oops, I mean "legitimate MLM" that you are trying to get others involved in by pretending to "report" on them to your unsuspecting scam victims. Congratulations, you are now trying to run multiple illegal scams at one time. I sincerely hope you get everything (and I do mean everything) that you have coming to you.

"2 choices 

A) Here is my E-mail address, lets get going right away. 
___________________________

B) NO, I would rather go this alone."

C) I would rather not go this at all

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